Bwogger Jordan Merrill has some helpful tips for people trying to live like it’s still the 1800’s. 

Nature, which you would see if you weren’t always on that damn phone

Recently, in the midst of three Columbia midterms and a research paper, I gave up a week with my computer to focus on connecting with nature and strengthening my relationships with friends. Just kidding! I broke my computer, and the week I spent without it while it was at Apple was a complete nightmare. Since I’m too much of a dumb Freshman to know how to go about life after something that, I ended up using a computer in the printing lab of Carman to write an essay. But if you’re like me and require some form of electronic entertainment before bed, you know that this week was absolute hell. With the goal of making sure no one else has to go through this horror, I’ve compiled a list of tips for how to entertain yourself or even…do work at Columbia with no computer.

  • Go to one of the many computer labs in Butler for your Netflix fix. Instead of walking all the way back to your dorm to sleep, just claim the computer station as your new bed. The librarians will understand.
  • If you have an essay due and don’t feel like going all the way to Butler, simply invent the printing press.
  • Find a computer science major to hack Pawprint so that you can somehow use the Columbia printers to record raps for Soundcloud.
  • Write twitter posts on a rock.
  • Instead of computer games, go to Junzi and count how many noodles are in a noodle bowl.
  • Go to JJ’s and mix all the drinks from the drink machine together. Don’t drink it; rather, allow it to ferment. Yummy new wine!
  • Adopt a rat.
  • Experiment with eating markers.
  • Train the rat you previously adopted. Bond with it. Start a life together.
  • Impersonate a tour guide.
  • Join the marines.
  • Impersonate a cardiac surgeon.
  • Form a new A capella group dedicated to recreating the Windows start up noise with only your voices.
  • Grab a few friends and paint Low Library lime green.
  • Instead of writing an essay, yell it at your professor. Bonus points for creativity!
  • Get trained to work at the Apple Genius Bar. Once you succeed and find a job, use customers’ computers to do your work.
  • Take up petty theft.
  • Read the Aeneid.
  • Go to Times Square and take a tour of the Church of Scientology.
  • Become a stock trader.
  • Simply go to bed.

Trees via Public Domain Pictures