What about a “Fisticuffing” Season theme?

One Bwog Staff Writer, who doesn’t want her parents to know she goes out on Wednesdays, has a problem with Senior Night.

Every week, a mysterious Facebook profile named “Alma Mater,” nickname “Senior Underground” invites seniors to Senior Nights at Amity Hall, a bar at 107 and Amsterdam. Each senior night has a theme: Meme Night, Cuffing Season, 2000s Night, etc. But NO ONE COMMITS TO THE THEME. When I asked my friends what a cuffing season theme looked like, someone said, “It looks like being a hoe but cute.” Isn’t that usually the goal of people who dress up for Senior Night? I initially thought people would wear handcuffs, but only one friend brought a set, and he kept it in his pocket the whole time anyway.

Part of the problem is the vagueness of the themes. What could one possibly wear to represent cuffing season? What sorts of music would be played? Not that matters, because whoever “Alma Mater” is, they’re not coordinating with Amity, which seems to play whatever music they want regardless of theme. So why even have themes at all? What’s the point if no one is going to commit?

I have two requests.

• To Alma Mater: come up with better themes. It can’t possibly be that hard. We could have a Bar Fight Night, where seniors dress up to represent their favorite campus bar. There’s Drunk Food Night, where seniors dress up to represent their favorite drunk food place. There’s Britney Night, where everyone dresses as their favorite incarnation of Britney Spears. Or Britney from high school. There’s Anonymous Sex Night, because let’s be honest that’s what a lot of you go to Senior Night for anyway; or Fuck Marry Kill Night, which is only for groups of three people.
• To seniors: fucking commit. I don’t want to be the only person dressed as a frozen margarita on Bar Fight Night.

Or, we could just not have themes and drink ourselves into a stupor Wednesday unencumbered by worries that our outfit is somehow not 2000s enough.

Photo via Bwog Archives