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AN *ACTUAL* GUIDE TO PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES

In choosing a candidate for the upcoming election, look up natal charts and not policy. Senior Bwogger, Leo, has provided you with not only each candidate’s zodiac sign but their Myers Briggs’s Test Personality Type (MBTI), Hogwarts House as well as which Columbia Dorm they *likely* are. 

DONALD TRUMP (GEMINI / SLYTHERIN / ‘THE ENTREPENEUR’ (ESTP-T) / EC)

 

JOE BIDEN (SCORPIO / SLYTHERIN / ‘THE DEBATER’ (ENTP-T) / WALLACH)

BETO O’ROURKE (LIBRA / GRYFFINDOR / ‘THE CAMPAIGNER’ (ENFP-A)/ CARMAN)

AMY KLOBUCHAR (GEMINI / SLYTHERIN / ‘THE COMMANDER’ (ENTJ-A) / BROGAN)

PETE BUTTIGIEG (CAPRICORN / RAVENCLAW* / ‘THE ARCHITECT’ (INTJ-A) / SCHAPIRO)

BERNIE SANDERS (VIRGO / HUFFLEPUFF / ‘THE ADVOCATE’ (INFJ-T) / MCBAIN)

KAMALA HARRIS (LIBRA / SLYTHERIN / ‘THE PROTAGONIST’ (ENFJ-A) / JOHN JAY)

KIRSTEN GILLIBRAND (SAGITTARRIUS / RAVENCLAW / ‘THE MEDIATOR’ (INFP-T) / HARMONY)

ELIZABETH WARREN (CANCER / HUFFLEPUFF / ‘THE DEFENDER’ (ISFJ-A) / WATT)

CORY BOOKER (TAURUS / RAVENCLAW / ‘THE LOGICIAN’ (INTP-T) / WOODBRIDGE)

ERIC SWALWELL (SCORPIO / GRYFFINDOR / ‘THE DEBATER’ (ENTP-A) / RUGGLES)

ANDREW YANG (CAPRICORN / RAVENCLAW / ‘THE ARCHITECT’ (INTP-T) / RIVER)

TULSI GABBARD (ARIES / GRYFFINDOR / ‘THE EXECUTIVE’ (ESTJ-T) / HARTLEY)

JULIÀN CASTRO (VIRGO / HUFFLEPUFF / ‘THE ADVENTURER’ (ISFP-A) / WIEN)

*I am aware Chasten admitted that Pete was a “Hufflepuff” but I would have to disagree based off his persona as a candidate (e.g. Rhodes Scholar, Harvard Magna Cum Laude and Afghanistan service)

Harmony Hall via Bwog Archive

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6 Comments

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous the INFPs are underrepresented once again

  • Anon says:

    @Anon When are they speaking at Columbia?

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous Forget Meyers Briggs or MMPI, use Columbia’s own Oldham Moriss npsp25 dot com

  • Yang says:

    @Yang cares about white people.

  • The hell says:

    @The hell Bernie and I are alike according to this and yet I’d rather vote for a pile of twigs in the primaries than him

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous #yanggang

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