Menu CATEGORIES

Connect with us

CATEGORIES Menu
All Articles

Presidential Candidates As Columbia Buildings

It’s back to school season, which means a whole lot of time getting reacquainted with the quirky, lovable, not-like-the-other-girls personalities of each of Columbia’s campus buildings.  In the spirit of reconnecting with all the various campus halls, libraries, labs, and chapels, new Bwogger Olivia provides us the topical commentary we’ve all been waiting for – presidential candidates as Columbia buildings.

Elizabeth Warren: Milstein Center

  • Seems to be the only one with their shit together.
  • Has a lot of fans from every type of background imaginable.
  • Has something for everybody.
  • A little chilly in some areas, a little warm in others.

Kamala Harris: Alfred Lerner Hall

  • Has some great benefits.
  • Overall, kind of uncomforting and confusing.
  • Going in 40 different directions at once.
  • Everyone has a different opinion on it.

Joe Biden: Butler Library

  • Emblazoned with old white guys.
  • Been there since day 1.
  • Has fans and you don’t know how or why, but there they are.
  • Falling apart just a little bit.
  • The Establishment™

Julián Castro: Kent East Asian Library

  • Small.
  • Seriously underrated, but still leaves something to be desired.
  • Needs more dedication and funding to be something totally great.

Bernie Sanders: Havemeyer Hall

  • The OG.
  • Pretty famous and popular.
  • Been seen with a lot of celebrities, for some reason.
  • Something you can always rely on.
  • Just a little odd, but in like, a lovable way.

Amy Klobuchar: Altschul Hall

  • Kind of forget it’s there most of the time.
  • Super cold. Like, freezing.
  • Standard. Just really standard.

Pete Buttigieg: Pupin Hall

  • Not really sure how to pronounce their name correctly.
  • Kind of confusing.
  • Not the best history. Pupin has its Manhattan project; Pete has his military experience that doesn’t always match up with what he’s trying to say.
  • Known for only one thing. (Being mayor of South Bend.)

Cory Booker: Hewitt Dining Hall

  • Used to be average, now becoming better.
  • There for you if you need it.
  • Has a lot of good aspects, but still kinda meh in general.
  • Could definitely be a great in a couple of years.
  • Oddly enough, vegan.

Beto O’Rourke: LeFrak Library

  • Who?
  • Easily forgotten.
  • Kind of unpolished; kind of unfinished.
  • There for you in a bind.
  • Nice on the outside, kinda empty on the inside

Andrew Yang: Carman Hall

  • Basically a joke.
  • It sure is there, I guess
  • Not really sure why it’s like that, but it is.
  • Just a little bit immature, but still fun sometimes.
  • No doubt it’s for freshmen.

Donald Trump: Hamilton Hall

  • Just the absolute worst.

but tbh I’d vote for a Elizabeth Warren/Stephanie McCurry ticket for 2020 via Bwarchives

Leave a Reply to Anonymous Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published.

 

7 Comments

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous YANG GANG #MATH

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous MAKE AMERICA THINK HARDER #YANGGANG

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous Since when is Milstein a Columbia building?

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous hey did you know columbia doesnt necessarily mean everything on columbia’s main campus but in fact the entirety of columbia university…which barnard is a part of? or

    2. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous it’s a part of columbia university??? as is barnard???

  • It's 2019 says:

    @It's 2019 >Pete Buttigieg: Pupin Hall
    I really hope this isn’t a gay joke.

    3
    1
    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous How would that be a gay joke?

  • Have Your Say

    Spookiest place on campus (and why)?

    View Results

    Loading ... Loading ...

    Recent Comments

    There used to be two fountains in front of Uris Business school that are now just grass. (read more)
    2girls1snack: Actual Fountains
    November 18, 2019
    Of course, a Columbia student being jealous of an NYU student, makes sense /s (read more)
    Confession: I Destroyed The NYU Class Of 2023 GroupMe Chat
    November 17, 2019
    Oh come off it, guy. I’m an NYU undergrad and this is hilarious. (read more)
    Confession: I Destroyed The NYU Class Of 2023 GroupMe Chat
    November 17, 2019

    Comment Policy

    The purpose of Bwog’s comment section is to facilitate honest and open discussion between members of the Columbia community. We encourage commenters to take advantage of—without abusing—the opportunity to engage in anonymous critical dialogue with other community members. A comment may be moderated if it contains:
    • A slur—defined as a pejorative derogatory phrase—based on ethnicity, race, gender, sexual orientation, ability, or spiritual belief
    • Hate speech
    • Unauthorized use of a person’s identity
    • Personal information about an individual
    • Baseless personal attacks on specific individuals
    • Spam or self-promotion
    • Copyright infringement
    • Libel