Presidential Candidates As Columbia Buildings
It’s back to school season, which means a whole lot of time getting reacquainted with the quirky, lovable, not-like-the-other-girls personalities of each of Columbia’s campus buildings. In the spirit of reconnecting with all the various campus halls, libraries, labs, and chapels, new Bwogger Olivia provides us the topical commentary we’ve all been waiting for – presidential candidates as Columbia buildings.
Elizabeth Warren: Milstein Center
- Seems to be the only one with their shit together.
- Has a lot of fans from every type of background imaginable.
- Has something for everybody.
- A little chilly in some areas, a little warm in others.
Kamala Harris: Alfred Lerner Hall
- Has some great benefits.
- Overall, kind of uncomforting and confusing.
- Going in 40 different directions at once.
- Everyone has a different opinion on it.
Joe Biden: Butler Library
- Emblazoned with old white guys.
- Been there since day 1.
- Has fans and you don’t know how or why, but there they are.
- Falling apart just a little bit.
- The Establishment™
Julián Castro: Kent East Asian Library
- Seriously underrated, but still leaves something to be desired.
- Needs more dedication and funding to be something totally great.
Bernie Sanders: Havemeyer Hall
- The OG.
- Pretty famous and popular.
- Been seen with a lot of celebrities, for some reason.
- Something you can always rely on.
- Just a little odd, but in like, a lovable way.
Amy Klobuchar: Altschul Hall
- Kind of forget it’s there most of the time.
- Super cold. Like, freezing.
- Standard. Just really standard.
Pete Buttigieg: Pupin Hall
- Not really sure how to pronounce their name correctly.
- Kind of confusing.
- Not the best history. Pupin has its Manhattan project; Pete has his military experience that doesn’t always match up with what he’s trying to say.
- Known for only one thing. (Being mayor of South Bend.)
Cory Booker: Hewitt Dining Hall
- Used to be average, now becoming better.
- There for you if you need it.
- Has a lot of good aspects, but still kinda meh in general.
- Could definitely be a great in a couple of years.
- Oddly enough, vegan.
Beto O’Rourke: LeFrak Library
- Easily forgotten.
- Kind of unpolished; kind of unfinished.
- There for you in a bind.
- Nice on the outside, kinda empty on the inside
Andrew Yang: Carman Hall
- Basically a joke.
- It sure is there, I guess
- Not really sure why it’s like that, but it is.
- Just a little bit immature, but still fun sometimes.
- No doubt it’s for freshmen.
Donald Trump: Hamilton Hall
but tbh I’d vote for a Elizabeth Warren/Stephanie McCurry ticket for 2020 via Bwarchives