Without her biweekly-movie-theater visit, Bwogger Miyoki Walker feels lost. In efforts to find some direction during this ongoing nightmare, she’s decided to spend all of her time watching movies featuring Columbia alumni. 

She’s talented, she’s witty, and she shines on camera. I didn’t say a name, but she popped into your head, didn’t she? Well, if you thought of anyone but Julia Stiles, you’re wrong. From modern Shakespeare adaptation to other modern Shakespeare adaption to other Shakespeare adaptation, Stiles has really done it all! Here’s a look at some of her most important movies in no particular order:

*For clarification, these movies were chosen with no criteria in mind other than that I was in the mood to watch them and I wanted to showcase a variety of genres.

• 10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

Anyone who knows me knows 10 Things is, without a doubt, on my top-two-movies-of-all-time list and it ain’t number two. Based on The Taming of the Shrew, this romantic comedy follows Kat Stratford (Julia Stiles), a teenage girl with feminist tendencies, a disregard for others’ expectations, and a knack for sarcastic quips. She is, as many misguided rom-coms would say, “not like the other girls.” Kat’s overbearing father has a rule that her younger sister Bianca cannot date until she does, which she has no intention of doing—not until Patrick Verona comes in that is. 

Julia Stiles and Heath Ledger are undoubtedly the best rom-com pairing to come out of the 90s, Allison Janney plays a deranged headteacher named “Ms. Perky,” and there’s an incredibly charming scene in which Ledger serenades Stiles with “Can’t Take My Eyes Off You” (the second-best version of the song after Lauren Hill’s). If you have not seen this movie yet, I need you to watch it immediately. 

• The Omen (2006)

After debating what Julia Stiles movie to watch next, I thought it might be good to mix it up with a little horror. This was not a good idea. In The Omen, a remake of the 1976 original, Liev Schreiber plays Robert, the president’s godson and United States ambassador to the UK. When his wife Katherine (Stiles) nearly dies and unknowingly loses her baby in childbirth, Robert takes an incredibly sketchy man’s offer to swap a new baby in. Little does he know, this new baby is the son of Satan. Robert spends a large portion gaslighting Katherine when she suspects something is wrong with their son until (spoiler alert in case you want to watch this shitshow), the kid kills Katherine! Stiles is given very little to do in this movie and after she died, I lost all interest. If you were debating whether to watch this 2006 mediocre horror film that nobody remembers, don’t. 

• Hustlers (2019)

Hustlers was arguably one of the best movies released last year and inarguably one of the best Scorcese films not directed by Scorcese. In the movie, Jennifer Lopez and Constance Wu play strippers who, struggling to make money during the 2008 recession, have to find crafty ways to stay on top—namely drugging and scamming rich men. Julia Stiles plays Elizabeth, a journalist working to crack the story. If Hustlers is the Ben & Jerry’s flavor Americone Dream, Stiles is the caramel swirl. You might forget that she’s in it and she’s definitely not the main event, but she’s a pleasant surprise nonetheless.
Even if you’re only watching this movie for Julia Stiles (an odd but respectable choice) the movie has so much more to offer. JLo pole dances to Fiona Apple, Lili Reinhart throws up every time she’s on-screen, and Usher makes a cameo (can you save us, Usher?). What more could you possibly want? 

• O (2001)

After the success of 10 Things, Julia Stiles apparently decided that she needed to continue with Shakespeare film adaptations. She should not have done this. Odin (Mekhi Phifer) is the star basketball player at an all-white high school and Desi (Stiles) is his doting girlfriend. The plot is just Othello, but with teenagers. You’d hope this wouldn’t still end in murder and suicide, but unfortunately, it still does.
Although Stiles was also in a modern Hamlet adaptation with Ethan Hawke, I was more curious to see how a contemporary Othello would play out. Curiosity killed the cat on this one. Do not watch this movie if you can help it. It’s misguided, offensive, and just so so bad. Also, Josh Hartnett has a terrible haircut. Let’s stick with the comedy adaptations, Julia!

• Mona Lisa Smile (2003)

In this last movie, Julia Roberts plays Katherine Anne Watson, a progressive art professor at Wellesley who shakes up her students’ more traditional beliefs. Virtually every movie with Julia Roberts is enjoyable—good or not—and this one is no exception. It also has a star-studded cast including Kirsten Dunst, Ginnifer Goodwin, and Maggie Gyllenhaal. Admittedly, Stiles is one of the least likable characters in this movie (she gets into Yale Law School but decides to sacrifice everything for Topher Grace??), but still worth watching. In addition to the women’s college connection, part of this movie was filmed at Columbia, where Stiles and Maggie Gyllenhaal went! Fun! The movie can’t solve all of your problems, but it can’t hurt either. 

And that’s it for my week of Julia Stiles, one of the few actors who actually graduated from Columbia (still holding out hope for you, Jake). Watch some of her movies! Or don’t! It does not affect me. 

Photo courtesy of Flickr Creative Commons