Ezra Schwarzbaum breaks down the joys of auditing and a new way of looking on the bright side of things. 

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Ezra Schwarzbaum, CC, Economics-Political Science, Bloomfield Hills, MI.

Claim to fame: I kicked EC air shaft guy out of his first party on the night he fell down said shaft.

Where are you going?

To San Francisco for now. But I’ll be back, New York.

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2024?

1. Audit a class or two. If there’s a class that looks interesting to you but doesn’t fit in your schedule (or you just don’t want to do the work), ask the professor if you can just sit in and listen to the lectures. There’s a good chance they will say yes, and not having a grade on the line means you can just soak in the content. (Suggestion: Jazz with Christopher Washburne).
2. No matter how good you think your writing is, it could probably benefit from another semester of UW. Granted, it’s the least popular Core class for a reason—I certainly didn’t enjoy it—but if you actually think you learned nothing, you probably need to take it again. Seriously, if you come out of Columbia with only one real hard skill, let it be an ability to write effectively. Thesaurus.com is your friend.
3. One professor really hit home the point that we’re only alive right now because someone in Russia decided not to nuke us 30 minutes ago. Despite it maybe feeling like the world is coming to an end (covid-19, climate change, personal struggles, etc), there are invisible systems out there holding everything at least minimally together. Appreciate it, then forget about it and get on with your day—there are more fun things to be doing.

“Back in my day…”

The waitstaff at Vine would chase you if they thought you didn’t tip enough.

Favorite Columbia controversy?

PLEASE don’t get me started.

What was your favorite class at Columbia? 

Here’s three: Inequality Within & Between Nations with David Spiro was the first seminar-style class I’d ever truly enjoyed. Political Economy with John Marshall was very tough but equally fascinating. China’s Foreign Relations with Thomas Christensen is everything you want in an IR class. (Is my major obvious enough yet?)

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese?

I recently discovered this garlic herb soft cheese at Westside, and it’s too soon to lose that.

Whom would you like to thank?

Many people. My parents, for putting me through school and trusting me to make my own decisions throughout. All of the great friends who keep me laughing and sane—particularly the ones I’ve spent four years bugging for homework help (shoutout to the But 209 and econ squads). Also all of the dining staff.

One thing to do before graduating:

Have another drink with friends on Low Beach.

Any regrets?

I should have gone to more of the events you see flyered around campus. So many student groups are doing cool things all the time, take advantage of them!

Image via Ezra