Columbia Confessions has been the backbone of my time in quarantine. The real, often hilarious posts give insight to sides of Columbia the world rarely gets to see: the sad, the angry, and, of course, the yearning. Bored out of my mind and obsessed with the later type, I’ve decided to catalog its subcategories and give them a soundtrack. Happy yearning!

I-Really-Really-Want-To-Be-In-Love

This hopeless romantic dreams of being swept off their feet. Quarantine has made them daydream about falling in love, procrastinate by thinking about meeting the one, plan their wedding instead of doing their homework. OP loves love so much they will post anonymously on social media about it. 

Recommended song: LINDA DRAPER  – Needlessly

I’m-In-An-Incredibly-Specific-Situation-And-I-Need-Advice

OP tells a long and very detailed story that is most likely not relatable at all, followed by a plead for help into the void. Maybe they fell in love with their friend after a picnic on the lawns. Maybe they are cheating on their significant other with a cute bartender. Or maybe they are crushing on their seminar professor because they never assign homework. But they are definitely begging for guidance on the internet.

Recommended song: Clairo – Bags

I-Have-A-Crush-On-Everyone

They have at least one crush in every class they are in, collecting them like middle schoolers in the early-2000s collected Pokémon cards. Walking through campus, they fall in love at least 7 times a day. They have probably thought about kissing their friends several times. Is everyone gorgeous or does OP simply have a big heart? Perhaps both.

Recommended song: Chet Baker – I Fall In Love Too Easily

I’m-Confused-By-Our-Relationship-But-I-Like-You-Too-Much

“I’m not sure what to call us” is a quote commonly found in these confessions. OP’s relationship with this person is chaotic, to say the least. Many moments have romantic undertones but they are not sure the other person feels them as well. Every second spent together seems to beg the question: “What are we?”

Recommended song: Softee – Oh No

I-Want-To-Be-Kissed-So-Bad-It-Hurts

Quarantine has OP craving human contact more than ever before. Relieving the past in memories, they think about ex-lovers and ex-somethings alike, desperate to feel something other than boredom. And can you blame them?

Recommended song: Moses Sumney ft. Sufjan Steven – Make Out in My Car 

Oh-Shit-I’m-Falling-In-Love-With-My-Friend

It wasn’t meant to happen but it did. The connection between these two friends is so deep and intimate that OP has conflicting feelings. They understand and support each other. They rely on each other. They spend a lot of time together. “Are we just friends?” OP wants to ask “Or do you want more?” 

Recommended song:  girl in red– i wanna be your girlfriend

All images from Columbia Confessions