Big Time Rush was the voice of our generation during our childhoods. It only makes sense that we have them teach us some more lessons now that we’re adults.

Professor Kendall Schmidt steps into Havemeyer 309 and an awed hush falls over the students who had been chattering about how crazy NSLOP was this year. He sets down his messenger bag and opens his laptop at the podium. The room is silent until the sound of simple acoustic guitar booms from the room’s speakers. 

“Ya know it’s your boy I-Y-A-Z and Big Time Rush!”

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Aren’t they just a teenage pop band from the 10s that nobody listens to anymore? What the heck does Big Time Rush have to do with Marxism anyway? And why hasn’t Columbia tried to get Kendall Schmidt to teach a class yet?

My first response is that they have almost 2 million listeners on Spotify each month. My second response is that their songs and TV show literally hint at and sometimes overtly support overthrowing the police, redistribution of wealth, and condemnation of the class divisions that create the bourgeoisie and the proletariat––all beliefs related to Marxism. My last answer: because Columbia doesn’t know what our student population really needs.

In the Big Time Rush series, the boys come from Duluth, Minnesota which I had never heard of and have never heard of since. Kendall works at a grocery store, they play hockey in the street, their houses hint that they’re not in a high class because this is the Midwest and most households making over $100K have a banging house––and all of a sudden, this rich, rude, arrogant man comes from Los Angeles trying to find a star. How do they respond to him? They sing a song where they call him a piece of crap!

Even though in the end they move to Hollywood and pursue stardom, they don’t let their newfound income and amazing hotel room change who they are, rather, they continue to be obnoxious to every single executive or higher up they meet. They have no intention of supporting the bourgeoisie and condemn the way they’re treated because of their “new money” status. Basically, they realize the power they’ve been given and use it to wreak havoc on this outdated class structure any chance they get.

In their song “If I Ruled The World,” they even outright point out the unrealized power and potential that the proletariat has and gave a call to arms to us as children to question every position of power above us. At the end of IYAZ’s verse, he sings “and if the cops ever try and pull us over, we tell em ‘Hey mister officer we own ya!’” Big Time Rush suddenly sings with him in unison when they exclaim that they own the police, showing how as a collective, the proletariat truly does own the establishment of police as well as capitalism overall and our awareness and vocalization of this alone will allow us to revolutionize our society. 

This course would definitely take planning that I, as a freshman dealing with college for the first time, cannot fully flesh out alone. However, I hope that I gave you a little insight into what a beautiful class this could be if Columbia decided to try and make it happen. Also, Kendall Schmidt, if you’re reading this, thank you for existing.

Havemeyer Hall via Bwog Archives