It’s time for the final finals of 2020. Will things ever be the same again?

Bwog managed to still feel like they were in college:

  • Had a very college-esque moment at 5 am as I was getting ready for my day and my brother was going to sleep
  • Had an ~organic moment~ talking about Rousseau in a breakout room in a class that wasn’t CC
    • I think that’s what Columbia wants the Core to be about
  • Went to a really good office hours
    • Felt supported
  • Got day drunk to celebrate passing an exam
  • Took a lil trip in the CUEMS ambulance
  • Got majorly lost in the sauce of final papers
  • Listened to pop music and studied with my friends over Zoom
    • Got intense flashbacks to when we would do this last year

Bwog went on the job hunt and emerged anxious and depressed:

  • Got all nervous for my first day at a new teaching job only to have my boss tell me they don’t need me until January
  • Networked with a Real Adult
    • I now have a LinkedIn connection that isn’t just one of my friends!
  • Seriously considered based on the way I’m headed my future will likely be spent working a desk job of some kind
    • Felt trapped
  • Considered applying to Vox’s open position for a biodiversity staff writer purely on a whim
    • They require three years of reporting experience
    • I may not have that experience
    • I may be slightly terrified of calling people on the phone
    • But I do care a lot about sea otters, and I feel like that should count for something 

Under the weight of everything, Bwog wept:

  • Wept driving home from picking up Thai food for dinner because of the winter lights in my downtown and because I’m doing these rituals from my youth, but they’re not the same at all anymore, because the world is not the same, and that is so, so terrible
  • Watched Timothée on SNL and cried several times
  • Had a lovely cry over my programming project  
  • Stayed up all night to listen to evermore
    • Cried harder than I thought I would       

Bwog managed to have some… fun (?) solo adventures:

  • Used an electric whisk for the first time and experienced the magic of having batter ready in two minutes rather than ten
  • Had a photoshoot with my dog <333
  • Brewed one excellent pot of coffee and one terrible pot of coffee 
  • Peeled 30 apples to be made into applesauce
    • I don’t know if I’ve ever seen so many apples in one spot
    • (Excluding apple orchards)
  • Saw a dead bird and contemplated my place in the universe for the next six hours
  • Learned how to say microwave in Spanish
  • Went to a talk about resilience
    • Asked a question
    • The speaker told me I should seek professional help <3

Image of some winter lights that make me wistful and sad via Wikimedia Commons