Senior Staff Writer Zane Bekheet tells of a haunting day filled with far too many burritos.

There is nothing I love more than a burrito. Thanks to living on-campus, my close proximity to John Jay will always fulfill my dreams. But even I, a burrito connoisseur, can be overwhelmed. I know if you look at my credit card bill and see the sheer multitude of charges from Dos Toros, Taqueria y Fonda, or even Chipotle when I want to risk their newest disease, you might think I could never have ~too much~ burrito.

Except there was this one day, this one day that still haunts my nightmares, where I hit my burrito threshold. I walked into the dim John Jay Dining Hall and was overjoyed to find breakfast burritos at the grill station. I chose a flour tortilla overflowing with egg, turkey bacon, and cheddar cheese and devoured it filled with joy. Fast forward three hours later to when I swiped in for lunch. To my surprise, they were offering a classic Mexican burrito. Choosing a corn tortilla with ground beef, I smiled knowing that I was able to have two burritos in one day- a feat even the most skilled burrito-ist could not imagine. After a couple of doom-filled zoom classes, I found myself with a hankering of hunger that I imagined could only be filled with a cheeseburger from JJ’s. I log on to place an order, and I find a buffalo chicken burrito staring back at me on the screen.

I couldn’t. Or could I? I imagined it was almost illegal to consume that sheer amount of burrito in a single day. But I did it. I even ordered two. I stood in the winding line up the stairs and retrieved my gluttonous meal.

Believing that I had done something worth a feature in Ripley’s Believe It or Not!, I later swiped into John Jay to get some dessert. That’s when I saw it. Disbelief flowed through every muscle in my body and I almost fainted into the arms of the kind John Jay worker.

Dessert burritos. Your pick of a filling of fruit, whipped cream, and candy. Think crepes, but less French. Of course, I stood in line, of course, I consumed a dessert burrito. How could I not?

In one day I could ingest four different types of burrito. And I did. So readers, take this as you will. Assign me as Burrito Queen. Tell John Green he might have an Abundance of Katherines, but I have an Abundance of Burritos. Attempt to beat me and order five burritos in one day. And to the John Jay Dining Hall, source of my joint misery and delight, please realize that no matter what you wrap up and call a burrito, I will eat it gladly. 

burritos via Bwog Archive