Our next suitor will definitely give you all the space you need.

Name, Year, School, Major: James Webb Space Telescope, launched 2021, Barnard, Astronomy.

Preference (girl for girl, etc): Telescope for vast, unyielding void.

Hometown: Various space flight centres across the US, then French Guiana for a brief stint. I get around.

Your nightmare date in seven words or fewer: “I need someone who’s always on time.”

What redeems you as a human being multibillion-dollar astonomy device? I can show you the world—and possibly even the birth of our own universe. Can Jason from FroSci do that? My mirrors are literally covered in gold, and if you like a Canadian, let me introduce you to my NIRISS instrument, made by none other than the Canadian Space Agency. It’s meant for imaging bright objects, and baby, you’re the brightest.

Library room Lagrange point of choice: L2 all the way.

Beverage of choice: A drop of just about anything could potentially destroy any one of my many extremely sensitive and expensive sensors and mirrors, so…

Which dating apps have you been active on? (Be honest.) I’ve been a little busy uncovering the secrets of all creation, but I’ll get to my Tinder matches eventually.

Where can you usually be found on a Saturday night? Looking for hotties (nascent stars in the deepest depths of the universe).

Historical Hottie of Choice: Edwin Hubble.

If interested, email tips@bwog.com.

It’d have to be pretty long-distance, ngl via Pixabay