A Bwog staffer is ready to throw hands in order to get a hold of the last piece to her scheduling puzzle.

Picture this: you are a rising senior. You’ve done your time, you’ve waited on waitlists, you’ve taken every core class this damn school has pushed on you. You have one requirement left: the elusive Global Core. These classes are small. These classes are hard to get into, even as a senior. But most importantly, the list of approved classes changes every single semester. 

Yeah, you read that right. Every single semester, there is a fresh new list of classes that are approved to meet this very mandatory requirement. So until that list drops, you literally have no idea which of the 800+ courses offered at this damn university fulfill this requirement in order for you to graduate. “Do courses repeat year to year?” you might ask. Haha, if only. Sure, there are some recurring characters, but the majority of courses listed for Fall 2021 aren’t even offered next semester, much less can they fulfill any sort of requirement.

And the kicker? Course registration is in five days, and the list is nowhere to be found. My entire fall schedule banks on fitting in a Global Core. I literally have to plan every other elective around my ability to take some random class, whose name, department, or time slot I have no way of finding. 

Of course, I don’t just need one class. I need a few—two, at least, preferably three or four, that all could potentially fit into my schedule in case I get shafted by waitlists. But boy, do I have absolutely no way to plan literally my entire next semester until this course list drops. 

So whichever little goblin that currently holds the keys to the Global Core list… let me at ‘em! I am tired and stressed and my schedule is unfinished and I have less than a week before course selection to plan my life.

Sure, they might have some bullshit excuse—“it’s really hard to decide which classes fit the criteria,” “we are still determining which courses will be offered next fall,” “our servers went kaput again, and we need to CPR them back to life,” I don’t care. People, your entire salaried job is to do this, and somehow you are still failing. 

Could I beat them in a fight? Most likely, the person who holds this coveted list is some geriatric 70-year-old administrator. So curb stomp that mf!

Self-defense tip: The only weapon they have is Dean’s discipline. So don’t let them get a hold of your name or UNI, and you should be good.

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