Uh oh! How do I get rid of my NSOP relationship? You’ve come to the right place.

Welcome to Barnumbia, First Years! The past couple weeks have been so exciting—starting classes, making new friends, discovering JJ’s fries— but no one could forget NSOP. New Student Orientation Program is a time for incoming first-year students and transfer students to make friends and get used to the campus. 

NSOP has a fabulous reputation for bringing couples together. Aww! How cute! If you’re reading this, it means you probably want to end things with that special someone you met just four weeks ago. If that’s the case, keep reading to learn how to ditch your NSOP bae.

How to Dump Your NSOP Boo:

  1. Song 

Pick your bae’s favorite song of the moment and change the words to fit the situation! For example, let’s look at sapphire’s “Eddie’s Song:”

“*boo’s name*, baby, I just saw alma,

She’s crying her eyes out with Roaree 

They’re eating at Hewitt

Say oh, oh, oh,

I don’t love you anymore,

We’re over, over”

See how perfect that is? What a fun and not hurtful way to break up with anyone. Personally, I would love to be broken up with this way. 

  1. Tik Tok

Renegade renegade. Are you ready to drop $5,000? Well, get ready to. You’re about to pay Addison Rae, Charli D’Amelio, and Chase Hudson (Lil Huddy) to make a breakup tik tok for your little boo thang. Pick a song that reminds you of your relationship and have them dance to it with text over the screen that says, “I’m dumping you!” Honestly, I think this is the nicest and easiest way to break off a relationship with someone and there’s no chance of retaliation. 

  1. Text

Follow this template to break up with your special someone:

Hello, *boo’s name*, I hope you are well. While we have spent some great times together these past four weeks, I think it’s time for our relationship to come to a close. As Justin Bieber says, “you entice me,” and yes that is how I used to feel, but I am no longer enthralled with you. I don’t think our star signs are compatible. I should have said something earlier, but the truth is, or at least my truth is, we aren’t good for each other. Goodbye, bae.

  1. Letter

Use Chanel Oberlin’s letter to the Chanels as your inspiration. If your name is *your boo* this message is for you! So do you remember when we met during NSOP and we agreed that we would be together forever? And do you remember not being there for me when my emotional support lantern fly died? Wow. That says so much about who you are. Etc.

  1. Scavenger Hunt

Set up a fun little game for your little bae to follow and at the end, the last clue is “I’m breaking up with you!” How cute and fun! You could start at the Barnard Greek games statue and the next clue could lead you to the Columbia tunnels, and so on and so forth. The last clue would lead you to the exact spot you two met, awww. Then you have to break the news, but with this fun little game, how could anyone get upset?

These are by far the best ways to break things off with your NSOP boo, or anyone for that matter. Have fun and break some hearts!

Broken heart via Wikimedia Commons, Email via Bwog Staffer