Bwog’s staff sounds off on our most creative and compelling suggestions for specialty pizzas at Chef Don’s.

As we all know, since its debut at the beginning of the semester, the seminal Italian dining establishment known to many as Chef Don’s Pizza Pi has begun to branch out with some more bold dining options—we’re all familiar with creations like the famous Philly Cheesesteak Pizza. I think I speak for everyone in saying that we want more where that came from! So we at Bwog have mustered the power of the brightest minds of our generation to help out the king of pizza himself with our own ideas on how to follow up his grand culinary creations! Chef Don, I hope you’re listening, because we’ve got some suggestions for Columbia’s next great specialty pizzas!

Here are some ideas combining pizza with different types of common food that we know and love:

• Peggza: Pizza with scrambled eggs on top.
• Vegetable Medley Pizza: Pizza with corn, carrots, and green beans.
• Ketchup Pizza: Instead of pizza sauce, there’s a thick layer of ketchup.
• Very Berry Salad Pizza: You know that salad that sits in Ferris? On the pizza dough now.
• Breakfast Pizza: Pizza with oatmeal and fruit loops on top.
• British Pizza: Pizza drenched in beans.
• Hawaiian TidePod Pizza: This one’s pretty self explanatory.

And here are a few creative, out-of-the-box twists on the traditional concept of pizza!

• Surprise Pizza: It looks normal, but take a bite and you’ll realize it’s actually cocktail sauce, not tomato.
• Chocolate Pizza: Normal crust with milk chocolate melted over it.
• Half dessert Pizza, Half Regular Pizza: In the middle you get a funky mix of tomato sauce and Nutella.
• None Pizza With Left Beef.
• Left Pizza With None Beef.
• Cosmic Pizza: Pizza that has brownie bites and rainbow sprinkles.
• Recycled Pizza: Pizza created using students leftovers in the dining halls. It’s very environmentally friendly!
• Hotdog Water Pizza: Pizza made using reserved water from JJ’s weenie special.
• Dirt Pizza: The dirt is made of crushed up oreos, pudding, and gummy worms.
• Dirt Pizza #2: A regular pizza seasoned with dirt gathered fresh every morning from Riverside Park.
• Pinecone Pizza: Instead of sauce it’s pinecone jam. Everything else is the same.
• Pizza Pizza: A bland pizza with crust that’s a little too doughy, mid marinara sauce, randomly scattered mozzarella, and an occasional basil leaf.

Chef Don, if you ever wanted to go the ‘pizza: after dark’ route, we’ve got you covered:

• Margarita Pizza: Not margherita pizza, but rather pizza doused in tequila with lime slices as toppings and salt on the crust.
• Pizza-tini: Vodka-flavored gelatin (must be clear) and olives on vodka-soaked bread. Nothing else.

We’ve envisioned some Columbia-related crossovers, to serve up delicious pizza and celebrate school spirit at the same time:

• Pantonzza: The cheese is dyed Columbia blue.
• Pizza-tini #2: A pizza shaped like former CC Dean James Valentini.
• Surf, Turf, and Earth Pizza: Pizza with shrimp, steak, and paella.
• Chef Mike’s Pizza: Just dump whatever leftover Chef Mike’s sandwich toppings they have that day onto a pizza.
• Chef Don’s Grandma Special: Pizza with a mysterious beige sauce made from unknown ingredients.
• JJ’s Place Pizza: Toppings include a mix of fried chicken, onion rings, and a strawberry banana slushy.
• Green Sale Pizza: Regular pizza topped with whatever food people leave in their donated fridges at the end of the year.

And, because we know Columbia Dining loves to go all out to celebrate a holiday, here are a few suggestions for holiday-themed menus!

• St Patrick’s Day Pizza: Crust made of Irish soda bread covered in marinara sauce and potatoes. Alternatively, a shamrock shake-covered pizza.
• Valentine’s Day Pizza: Chocolate covered strawberries on top of the cheese.
• Easter Pizza: Hard boiled eggs as the topping.
• Halloween Pizza: Candy pizza, of course.
• New Years Pizza: Champagne soaked into the crust.

Thank us later, Chef Don! We here at Bwog can’t wait to see what creative direction Columbia’s favorite pop-up pizza establishment will go from here.

Image of Chef Don preparing our scrumptious selections via Bwarchives