One of the most iconic rock bands faces a reckoning. And Columbia’s beloved indie musician has had enough.

Rock fans may remember a recent open meeting announcement revealing the recently discovered first drafts of the famous Fleetwood Mac songs “Dreams” and “Go Your Own Way.” Historians are shocked to report that contrary to popular belief, the two songs were originally written as odes to Bwog, rather than as reflections on Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham’s tumultuous romance. 

“It’s crazy,” reports an anonymous expert, “I mean, I didn’t even know that the internet was around in the 70s.” 

Another source was less surprised. “Nicks and Buckingham were always deeply invested in student news. It makes sense that this shared passion would find its way into their music.” 

While the rock world is left reeling, one member in particular is struggling with the revelation. “When people thought of music at Columbia, they used to think of me,” says Ezra Koenig, Columbia alumnus and Vampire Weekend frontman. “I didn’t write ‘Harmony Hall’ as a joke.”  

Asks Koenig, “What was it all fucking for?” 

With Koenig shaken from his pedestal as the foremost producer of Columbia-related music, Nicks and Buckingham are eyeing the top. 

“We really played into the drama [of our relationship],” says Nicks, “but both of us knew… it was kind of this unspoken thing-” 

Buckingham cuts her off, “It was all about Bwog. The undercurrent of all of Rumours…basically was Bwog. It was the driving force behind our best songs–the love we had for this student news publication.” 

“But sex and drugs and anger…” muses Nicks, “That’s the stuff that sells. That’s what people expect from a 70s rock album. We had to deliver that. But I think if our fans listen closely to Rumours, they’ll find traces of Bwog everywhere. Throughout the whole record.” 

So what’s next for the embattled bands? “Open meeting,” says Koenig. “If Stevie and Lindsey want to be Bwoggers so badly, they can talk to me at open meeting.” 

“I’m unconcerned,” Nicks waves a hand dismissively. “Lindsey and I have been bwogging since Ezra was learning to play the recorder in his elementary orchestra. But my Sunday evening is free this week. So if he wants to throw a little tantrum, I’ll hear him out.” 

In the meantime, Koenig revealed that he’s been speaking to lawyers. “I know that Stevie and Lindsey are saying otherwise, but I just don’t believe there was internet in the 70s. I’ve talked to some tech experts that share my suspicion.” 

Is Fleetwood Mac’s beloved duo riding on Koenig’s coattails? Are musicians everywhere taking advantage of their proximity to Bwog’s highly-coveted cultural capital? It seems as if there’s only one place the truth will surface–Lerner 510, Sunday night, 9 pm. 

Header via Bwog Staff