The question plaguing everyone’s minds this Halloweekend…what are the Barnumbia statues dressing up as this Halloween???

Bellerophon Taming Pegasus

A Generic Frat Brother. Bellerophon looks like he would be the frat brother who yells, “Everybody, if you aren’t a member of Oozma Kappa, get the fuck out!” Bellerophon’s most anticipated moment of college was the day he would finally attend a toga party. He looks like the type of guy who loves Halloween just so he can look at girls in their underwear and not have it be classified as creepy. He also looks like he has the most fragile masculinity.

Life Force (aka The Eye) 

The Lamp From the Pixar Movie Intros (But Sexy). Just look at it, guys. It screams Sexy Pixar Lamp.

The Tooth

Britney Spears at the 2001 VMAs. When the Tooth was a child, he saw Britney Spears on TV performing at the 2001 VMAs with a snake, and he dreamed of being a performer. Better yet, he dreamed of being Britney Spears. Unfortunately, the Tooth’s parents were more traditional thinkers (they’re best friends with the Thinking Man, who is not featured in this article because he is that guy that doesn’t dress up for Halloween). They forced the Tooth into dentistry against his will. All through med school, the Tooth held onto his dream of becoming Britney Spears, longing for Halloween each year, a time when he could finally be the Britney Spears he always dreamed of being.  #freebritney

Alma Mater

A Sexy Schoolgirl, or actually, better yet, A Sexy Sophocles. Poor Alma Mater sits there all day and stares at the famous Greek philosophers’ names written at the top of Butler, wishing she could be one of them. She loves and admires them so incredibly much. Alma is that bitch who sits in Lit Hum and draws all over her notebook “Alma+Homer 4L.” She wants to attract the ancient Greek gaze, and there is no better way to do that than by dressing as a Sexy Sophocles. 

Tightrope Walker 

Zac Efron and Zendaya in The Greatest Showman. Unlike the tooth, these guys love what they do. Why not use Halloween as an opportunity to self-promote? Anyone need an acrobat this coming Thanksgiving or Christmas? After Halloween, you’ll know who to call (venmo @tightropewalker69). 

The Torch Bearer

A Football Player. Look at the stance, guys. It’s giving Tom Brady wannabe (actually never mind, the Torch Bearer would never divorce Gisele, she is a baddie). The Torch Bearer wasn’t really into sports, until about a month ago. But if Taylor Swift can be a football fan, then the Torch Bearer can be, too. Catch her on Halloween with her ass sticking out the bottom of a too-short Travis Kelce jersey (even though everyone knows his brother Jason is where it’s at).

Photos via Bwog Archives