I swear I didn’t press anything.

Dear CourseWorks, I write to complain

of a new update you’ve made that’s changed

my lately held esteem for you.

Yes, we have shared good times, us two.

I’ve loved to stalk through your course rosters,

scanning my classes for imposters.

I’ve loved to read ahead in Files,

so new assignments don’t feel like trials.

I’ve loved to customize the screen

of my dashboard; make it pink, or green.

I loved the way you swallowed up

my discussion posts; if someone followed up,

well then, what was it to me?

Hearts don’t hurt for what eyes don’t see.

And yet, CourseWorks, it’s different now…

I don’t know why, I don’t know how

but all of a sudden I’m being alerted

when a classmate of mine’s asserted

their voice in a discussion thread.

The pinging sounds inside my head

won’t stop; I just can’t get away

from the buzzing of my phone all day.

All my classes have discussion posts

(oh how they haunt me now, like ghosts!)

I swear I didn’t press a button

to make this change; I’m not a glutton

for the voices of my mates and peers.

I don’t want to know their textual fears,

their interpretations of the reading.

I say: save it for class meeting!

Oh CourseWorks, help me, let me know

why this sudden change is so;

and though my professors might scoff,

I’d like to know how to turn it off.

The Offending Notification via author