Obviously the best dessert.

As a self-proclaimed ice cream-eating lactose intolerant, I have many opinions about the dining halls’ options. After some careful consideration and a semester’s worth of research, I have compiled a definitive ranking of all the ice cream on campus. 

6) Ferris

The Ferris ice cream is simply disappointing. The rare occasion when I can snag a cookie ice cream sandwich is its only redeeming quality. To point out the elephant in the room, this freezer immediately transports me back to middle school lunches, and who wants to remember that? 

5) Diana

I have a confession to make: I’ve only had a Diana F’real milkshake once. And while I enjoyed the fun flavors in contrast to the other dining halls, the added cost is a major turn-off. After all, we already pay way too much for our dining plans.

4) JJs

She is beauty, she is grace… but only when she’s working. I know we all love the classic chocolate and vanilla milkshakes in the best late-night dining hall, and ranking them fourth might seem insane, but I have my reasons. Every time I go to JJs for an actual meal or during the day (literally once a month at most) all of the machines work perfectly fine, but whenever I’m craving a milkshake after a test or a night out, they’re always broken. Also loses points for the frozen yogurt. Why is it grainy?

3) John Jay

This one may be controversial, but hear me out. As long as you don’t tempt fate with watermelon, pineapple, mango, or whatever other concoction the sorbet/frozen yogurt machines have, the regular ice cream is always a winner.

2) Hewitt

Although the Hewitt soft serve machine is a new addition to the roster, it quickly rose to the top of my list the first time I tried it. I thought everyone was exaggerating when they said how good it was, but now I know they absolutely were not. It’s the most delicious addition to one of the best dining halls at Barnumbia.

1) Grace Dodge

I first stumbled upon Grace Dodge about halfway through last semester, and I haven’t been the same since. Their salad bar and pizza rival even the most worthy of competitors, (I’m looking at you, John Jay) but their ice cream is unmatched. It’s difficult to pinpoint exactly what makes Grace Dodge’s vanilla ice cream so much better than the rest, but it’s definitely the best on campus. Trust.

Ferris, Diana, JJs, and John Jay photos via Author.

Ice cream header via Bwog Archives.