Which class time are you?

8:40 am to 9:55 am

If you are an 8:40, nobody likes you. You are that conceited SEAS kid in every calculus class who has a doctor’s note telling them to constantly talk about how easy this class is. You can’t believe people find this hard. You studied this in middle school. Although it may look like you have your life together, because you turn in homework the day it is released, sometimes at night you don’t feel okay.

Your favorite dining hall: John Jay at 8:30 pm on a weekday

10:10 am to 11:25 am

If you are a 10:10, you need to stop overanalyzing your life and cheer the fuck up. “Oh, but I have to wake up so early for my morning class!” No you don’t. “But I didn’t even have time to have breakfast!” And whose fault is that? Most dining halls open before then. You complain about the five-minute walk to class, you claim you are too sleepy to take the stairs in the morning, and you whine about how it’s all so unfair. The only unfair thing is that we have to deal with you every single day.

Your favorite statue: The Thinker, because you’re deep like that

1:10 pm to 2:25 pm

If you are a 1:10, you might think you’re better than everyone *queue Mariners Apartment Complex*. But you are not. You are simply lucky. You win at all the rigged arcade stalls, you’ve never lost a coin toss, and your registration time is before you even wake up. But one day, you’ll be stuck in the Hamilton elevator as terror creeps into your mind. One day.

Your favorite snack on campus: the JJs Place quesadillas, because the line is always so short when you get there!

4:10 pm to 5:25 pm

If you are a 4:10, you don’t bleed red, you bleed the color you like your coffee. You obsess over Taylor Swift, your favorite trope is enemies-to-lovers, and your favorite study spot is Butler. It’s not that you’re basic, no, you just happen to love the things everybody else loves! But you refuse to admit it. Midnights is an underrated bop that no one but you appreciates, coffee is an acquired taste that you acquired from the very first sip. You’ll say you know a place and take them to Low Steps.

Your pet peeve: When the Ferris coffee machine isn’t working

7:10 pm to 8:25 pm

If you are a 7:10, you lead an obnoxious life. To counter the repellant force of your being, you keep chanting inspirational quotes. God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers. And sleep is for the week. Sleep schedule? Never heard of it. Dinner? What’s that? Because those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music. The music of the night.

Your favorite form of academic torture: getting assigned homework over break

Havemeyer Hall before 8:40 via Bwog Archives