HOLY RUCK! Staff writers Mia and Zoe watched their first ever rugby match, with the game ending in a 93-0 loss to Vassar for Columbia. 

Shortly after accepting the pitch for this article, we realized that we were heavily underprepared to cover it; we actually know nothing about rugby. Despite this, we were familiar with Columbia women’s rugby’s winning streak (which includes beating Vassar twice last season) and also taking home the Tri-State 7s Championship last year, so we were excited to experience our first match. We did some quick research beforehand (we really just Googled “rugby game explained”), and familiarized ourselves with terms such as rucking, scrumming, sin bins, and tries. It wasn’t long after the game started that we realized how in over our heads we were. 

We were under the (incredibly inaccurate) impression that rugby was a mix of soccer and football, but the positioning of the players at the beginning of the game was not something we had ever seen before. Once the possession started and girls were being tackled to the ground, the gameplay only became more confusing to the both of us. Constantly shifting from running to rucking, when the ball hit the ground and everyone just threw themselves on it, the Vassar players had much better control of the ball throughout the match. Scrumming, another (freakishly named) part of rugby we were unaware of, happened several times and was honestly a little unnerving to watch. If you’re familiar with the TikTok Rizz Party video, it kind of looks like what they’re doing in that.

Scrumming in action…

Rucking and scrumming, just two parts of the game, cannot even begin to describe how violent this sport is. From grabbing the backs of other girls’ necks, pulling the shirts of the opponents, and smacking each other in the face, we were minorly horrified but thoroughly entertained by all of it. For a sport with very little padding/protective gear, it is so aggressive. Even when charging the other team, the players would actually gutturally scream as if they were going into battle against their opponent. 

The players weren’t the only ones screaming and shouting their way through the match. Since we had never been to Baker before, we accidentally sat amongst the Vassar fans. Though few in numbers, their taunts were quite loud; there was also a lady with a cowbell, and she put that thing to work. Around when Vassar scored their 41st point, one of their supporters who was sitting behind us announced “Well, might as well pack up and go home,” which he went on to repeat several more times. Then, after scoring yet another try and making the score 87-0, an older man there to support the Vassar team sang “I don’t know you, but I’m feeling 87,” to the tune of Taylor Swift’s 22. There were also several other mean spirited low-blows made about our team that, for compassion’s sake, we will not be including in the article.

Despite the loss, we did enjoy our time and the team ended the match with cheers of “Hooray!” by the number of supporters who ended up showing up for the Lions. The team’s next match is Sunday at Baker Athletic Complex and you can check their Instagram for the time. If you have never watched rugby before or just want to support the team, we definitely recommend seeing them play!

Header Illustration via Simone Snow

Scrumming via Authors