Staff Writer Abbey Zhao explores another famous “Abigail’s job”—giving advice. Let’s see how she does. 

I am a frequent scroller of Apple News, and more often than not, I stumble across Abigail van Buren’s—real name, Pauline Phillips—advice column. Despite being one of the few people in this generation who understands my name’s comparison to Phillips,’ I have decided to go after my true dream of copying hers.

*Spoiler: don’t listen to anything I say. For real advice, check out AskBwog*

Should I have a floor romance?

Always. The close proximity allows for a quick, festering love that is always unstoppable. Even if the relationship goes sour, you’ll be able to work things out—you see them so often, after all.

What to do if my TA is hot?

Explore your opportunities—if your TA is one of them, so be it.

How many credits should I take my freshman year?

The maximum. Actually, you should petition to take more. But if not, 18 credits for CC is a completely manageable workload as you get adjusted to an entirely new environment. There is absolutely 0% chance for burnout, and you’ll have more than enough time to explore NYC like all your classmates will do.

How often should I do my laundry?

Maybe every three weeks? You can just rewear underwear or something.

How do I form a mentoring relationship with my R.A.?

Just don’t. They totally didn’t sign up to do this job with the intention of helping you out—so don’t ask for help even if they are very explicitly there to give advice.

In complete honesty, your real answers: to each their own (but I would personally never); please don’t go after your TA; a reasonable amount that is preferably not the maximum; please do your laundry once every week or something similar; your RA is there to help, and you should take them up on it.

Counseling Session via Pixabay