And on this campus, who’s even surprised at this point?

Last year, I wrote this article about places I’ve tripped. Now that I live in the farthest dorm from campus—and especially because my first classes are in Mudd and Teacher’s College—the opportunities to fall flat on my faces have all but abounded.

Welcome, I guess? That type of hesitance is exactly what Admitted Students Day will bring you, but don’t be scared.

I was a wide-eyed first-year, entering my first round of Battle of the Dining Halls. And boy was it a delight!

It’s Ivy Day. The world’s most stressful day, according to anyone on r/ApplyingToCollege. It’s a been a year since mine—let me take you through it.

For the record, I’m normally a good poet. But today, I’ve decided to change that up.

If math people held a rager, this year’s Integration Bee would be it.

A beauty to behold—the convenience of the Wallach-John Jay tunnel/hallway/whatchamacallit is astounding.

Bwog has two Zoë B.’s, and we’re out here looking for more.

Staff Writer Abbey Zhao is fed up with all these doors—they’re either too heavy, too light, with no Goldilocks zone to be found.

Staff Writer Abbey Zhao explores another famous “Abigail’s job”—giving advice. Let’s see how she does. 

Staff Writer Abbey Zhao explores life at Columbia in the context of being from Ohio.

Staff Writer Abbey Zhao has two left feet—let’s see where she’s fallen and lost her dignity so far.