Oh, to be a fat orange cat with nine college-aged moms. From stray to slay, as my dad said.

Deputy News Editor Riley Stacy and Internal Editor Chancey Stefanos had a fun winter break—particularly the last 24 hours of break, during which they decided it was time to get a move on their dreams of owning an emotional support cat. In August, Riley was approved for an emotional support animal (ESA) through Barnard’s disability services, CARDS, and her therapist (mental illness win!). Waiting for the right time and the right pet, Riley wasn’t able to procure an ESA until January 19, when Joni’s story begins.

Around noon on January 19, Riley was doing her daily scroll through the websites of nearby animal rescues to see if the perfect cat had come onto the scene yet. Naturally, Riley sent many links of orange cats to Chancey, commenting, “That’s Joni” on each cat. (They have always dreamed of owning a pack of lesbian cats named after iconic female musicians—Carole and Björk are next.) Finally, Riley came across Joni, or Ollie, as he was referred to on the website. She applied to adopt in minutes, not expecting to hear back for days or even weeks. Three hours later, she was suddenly on the phone with the co-founder of Joni’s rescue.

“Can you go pick him up tomorrow?”

Shit.

She hadn’t prepared for this but couldn’t let Joni pass her by. She looked at Chancey, and they knew then and there—they’d be picking up this cat the next day. They scrambled to Petco, bought the necessities (including a $90 cat carrier), and were promptly off to the Financial District to meet Joni by 10 am the next day. Long story short, we were told he was smart and social, and after ample head scratches, we were sold. Here is a summary of Joni’s first few days at Barnard (with pictures, you’re welcome).

Joni takes a long trip on the 1 back to 600 (and is so well-behaved!).

Joni is home! He starts by getting acquainted with Riley’s dorm (and bed).

Joni discovers he likes watching his moms play Mario Kart 8.

After adjusting to Riley’s double, he begins to explore the rest of the suite and finds his new favorite spot in the dining room (right next to the hot radiator, where he almost burns his paws multiple times).

Joni quickly adapts to his new job as an emotional support animal by refusing to let Riley do any of her computer science homework.

Whatever this is.

Joni loves his new carrier (much cheaper than the $90 Petco one) and his fish toys. He also likes waking Riley’s roommate up at 6 am for food.

Food is a big part of Joni’s life. He likes helping mom #1 cook breakfast. (We have since found out from the vet that he is in fact five pounds overweight.)

Sneaking into the pantry while we are in classes (again, overweight).

Trying on his new Eagles jersey just in time for the NFC East Championships on Sunday. (He wasn’t even mad about it, go birds.)

While his adoption might have been a spontaneous decision, Joni is so loved and is settling into his new (forever) Bwamily seamlessly. He was clearly meant to be a Barnard Baddie. If you think you may qualify for an emotional support animal and are interested in going through the process of getting approved, see Barnard’s policy via CARDS or Columbia’s policy via DS.

Various Joni Pictures via Bwoggers Riley & Chancey