A freshman evaluates Columbia’s alternatively-named dungeons

Disclaimer: This author is but a freshie and does not have the full scope of the Columbia cram experience. Thus, she is limited by experience to a mere handful of libraries to survey for this article.

4. Burke Library at Union Theological Seminary

With its elegant, vaulted ceilings and plush blue carpet, Burke Library is a soothing and mostly stress-absent place to study. Light pours in from the delicately latticed windows and gold-framed lamps, freeing one’s soul from the crushing pressure of a basement cram. Although the policy of complete silence deters laughter and chatter, which usually alleviate a library’s stench of grief, this author finds the imposed quiet restoring.

3. Lehman Social Sciences Library

Located at the bottom of the SIPA building near East Campus, Lehman is a cozy spot to study away from the main campus. Although mostly underground, which contributes to a suffocating air of stress, the experimental light fixtures and design lends a hopeful artsiness to any study session.

2. Avery Architectural & Fine Arts Library

Avery is similarly split between the surface world and hades’s realm, with a markedly less artistic staircase leading into the bowels of the building. Although the wheeled chairs are a free-spirited plus, the overall dungeon vibe is exacerbated the further one delves into the library, with a maze of dimly lit archive rooms obscuring the path to the bathroom, as well as to blue sky.

1. Butler Library

During this author’s NSOP campus tour, her OLs stopped at Butler to cast the following prophecy over her cohort: “You’re going to hate this place soon.” Infamous for its 24/7 availability, Butler is the pre-midterm prison of honor, the rotting flesh of procrastination’s bitter fruit. Although its vaulted third floor surpasses any dorm room in elegance, its thickly grated windows overlook the lawns in a mockery of freedom, gently crushing the souls of any who would gaze outside for dreams of liberation.

Butler Library via Bwarchives