And on this campus, who’s even surprised at this point?

Imagine this. You’re already annoyed by the never-ending, bipolar cold weather. Your friends in the Great Lakes region post of whiteouts; your brother back home has a snow day. But you still, somehow, only have rain.

Now, the bottom of your jeans are wet. This is unavoidable. You plan ahead, making sure to wear a higher-waisted pair that won’t drag along the sidewalks. But, as we’ve established, the denim doesn’t listen, eagerly lapping up the puddles on the ground. No plan will ever be good enough.

College Walk. You’re on the race to be on time to your 10:10 am lecture, for once. And you will be, but at what cost? Actually, this is what they call opportunity cost in your Economics lectures. Do you brave the inches-deep puddles, cutting ahead of the slow walkers, or walk the maze of avoiding the puddles indenting into the brick? 

The latter is chosen. But it doesn’t matter. There’s no escaping the puddles because everyone’s going around them. It’s a five-lane highway with only one left open. It’s traffic on every route and picking the lesser of the evils presented to you. 

There will always be a puddle. Maybe you can choose if it’s a deep one or a shallow one. But the splash-back lies—depth doesn’t matter, unfortunately. You’ll be a victim regardless.

You wonder when New York will have snow that sticks. It’s Eve with the apple all over again; the brief flurries the temptation. But regardless, your shoes, your socks, your feet, they’re all already wet.

Well, I don’t have to imagine this, actually. It happens every time it rains. You probably don’t need to exercise your creative brainpower either; you’re used to it too. The classic, old-timey Ivy League-esque walkways are, for sure, well-used and a reflection of their age. 

I’d also like to establish that I’m used to rain. I’m from Ohio—we get 42 inches of rainfall annually and consistent severe thunderstorm watches and warnings. It’s also not as much of a problem as soon I step past the gates; the biggest worry is from the crosswalks, and that’s very avoidable. 

So please, Columbia—fix those puddles.

Image via Bwog Archives