I have disappointed myself and those who had great expectations for me.

It has been about a month into the Spring semester, and regrets regarding how I have wasted my winter break mostly on sitting idle has been haunting me relentlessly. There had been many promises made before the break, and I have kept almost none of them. I feel that I need to get these regrets off my chest, as the shame has been weighing down on me. For that, I am sharing with you three things I didn’t do over the winter break.

1. Visit Museums

I’ve always claimed myself to be a museum enthusiast. Before the winter break, I had told myself that I will definitely be visiting every museum New York City has to offer once the Fall semester is done. However, I ended up visiting none of them. I can no longer tell people that I am a museum enthusiast; actually, I might as well tell people that I despise them. I did visit the Cloisters with a friend during the first week of the Spring semester, though, so that’s something. But the gardens are kind of dead at this time, so I told myself that I will visit again over the summer break.

2. Watch Twin Peaks

I have a long-time friend who’s been asking me to watch Twin Peaks for years—it is their favorite show of all time. Last year, before the break, I made a promise to them that I will watch all of Twin Peaks when I have time over the break. Guess what I did not do when I totally had the time? Watch Twin Peaks. Truly, I don’t even deserve to have friends anymore.

3. Save Money by Sticking to the Dining Halls

Food around here can be expensive. That is why I had promised myself that I will try my best to go to the dining halls and use up my already-overabundant amount of meal swipes whenever it is possible over the break. What I did, instead, was spend way more money than usual on going out and ordering food. Because I’m a gluttonous sloth—I couldn’t even motivate myself to walk for about 10 minutes from my apartment over to the dining halls for food which I had already paid for.

I think it’s fair to say that I thought of myself as a better person than I actually might be. For that, I am deeply ashamed. Over the next few months, I will make more promises to myself and my friends for the upcoming summer. Hopefully, this time, I will stick to my promises and have a productive and fulfilling summer.

Illustration via author