The Roy and Diana Vagelos Science Center is a mouthful.

Now that construction has come to an end (we never thought we’d see the day) we are tasked with a monumental decision… what the hell do we call that thing?

The official name, of course, is The Roy and Diana Vagelos Science Center. Try saying that five times fast. This name is naturally given due to the sizable donation made by Diana Vagelos (BC ’55) and her husband, Roy Vagelos (MD ’54), towards the building. Barnard’s proposed nickname for this structure is the RDSC, but I find this name insufficient. For one, the actual acronym should be RDVSC, but I can see why this wasn’t chosen–it doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue. For another, no one is going to call it that. So, in the spirit of sticking it to The Man (or, since this is Barnard, The Woman) we must come up with a better name.

“The Science Center” feels too vague, and a little… ominous? “Roy and Diana” would also prove too confusing with the Diana Center just a few yards away. In fact, our Diana Center draws its name only partially from the Roman deity, with the other part being the very same Diana Vagelos of the Roy and Diana Vagelos Science Center. (Is it just me, or should the historically women’s college have put the woman’s name first?) Therefore, I propose we take a page out of the book of Bwoggers past, way back when the Diana Center (briefly) was supposed to be called the Vagelos Center, possibly renamed to avoid a certain nickname. (Actually, there was, at least at one point, a Vagelos Alumnae Center, but I certainly have never seen it…)

Anyway, when the Vagelos name was first announced as attached to the Diana Center back in 2008, no time was wasted in christening it “The Vag.” And why not? It’s the intuitive abbreviation. We ought to embrace this piece of our history and use this name once more. Plus, what would be more fitting than assigning a literally yonic name to a building on the Barnard campus? We’re progressive, we shouldn’t feel any type of way about giving it a name as natural as that. Demystify the female body, etc.

Besides, if they didn’t want us to call it the Vag, they should’ve named it something else; it’s not as though they hadn’t already made the exact same mistake before. What could be more emblematic of our administration’s hubris than, as in the colloquial definition of insanity, repeating the same action while expecting a different result?

I know this moniker is spreading because I’ve already heard it used in casual conversation. We have to ensure the masses hear our message: we need to call it The Vag. It’s a matter of moral urgency.

Vag rendering via Barnard