Bwog goes fancy.

Bwoggers Elizabeth Self and Lorna Hale, the two halves to Bwog’s Tastebuds, bring you their latest 2Girls1Snack adventure: Sweet Tea. Just drink and forget.

Nantucket Nectars “Half & Half,” $1.79

An amusingly alliterative title does not a delicious drink make. We didn’t know that lemonade came in “brown.” This tasted like mislabeled lemonade and looked like it was made with dirty water rather that carrying the strong color of tea. Was it supposed to be that cloudy? 1girl didn’t finish, the other girl closed her eyes and thought of lemonade.

Snapple “Half ‘n Half”, $1.29

Fun fact #753: a group of goats is called a trip. Once we’d been educated by that delightfully useless fact, 2girls got down to drinking. The drink tasted like is had been made with lemon oil, not juice. It carried the aroma and taste of lemon without the citrusy tang one expects from actual lemons. 2girls didn’t think that it tasted real. Boo. At least there wasn’t particulate matter floating in it (we’re looking at you, Nantucket Nectars).

Honest Tea “Half & Half” 2/$3

There was tea dust at the bottom and this actually smelt of tea. And, now, for an anecdotal interlude…

“Honey, when I said more tea and less lemonade, I didn’t mean all tea and NO lemonade.”

Annabelle burst into tears. She would never master the art of making half & half like her sweet Eugene’s momma. So, days later in the depths of Annabelle’s despondency, she began a torrid love affair with Arnold Palmer…

Long story short, this tastes like not-so sweet tea.

Arnold Palmer “Half & Half” $1.89

Listen, class ain’t cheap, bit it is ten cents more expensive than dirty water, so you can spring the extra dime for it. This is a correct half & half. ‘Nuff said.

Now, we leave you for the bathroom and our respective diabetic comas.

Overpossesive nature via ShutterStock