Our next Senior Wisdom is from Max Daniel, who had the opportunity to touch Zach Galifianakis’s beard.

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Max Daniel

Name, Hometown, School, Major: Max Daniel, Morton Grove, IL, GS/JTS, American Studies and Jewish Literature

Claim to fame: I’m editor-in-chief of The Current and president of Yiddish Club. I also host WBAR’s “Abraham Lincoln’s Hour of Crunk” on Saturday mornings. I’ve seen Bob Dylan in concert 11 times and was a one-time Yiddish translator for Zach Galifianakis.

Where are you going? I figure that after four years of living in New York and going to JTS, I’d take a break from Jew stuff and spend the summer in Tel Aviv.

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2018?

1. If you can type your UNI and password in a instantaneous, seamless motion with your eyes closed and head held back like a frenzied Mozart, you’ll impress everyone in the computer lab in Butler. Possibly so much so that you’ll be nominated for Senior Wisdom.

2. Columbia is like the world in miniature. Our leaders come and go at a brisk pace, territory/seats at Butler/banner space is a highly prized and contentious commodity, and we’re just beginning to hear reports of water-based organisms beyond 105th. More seriously, though, this campus is bursting with opportunities to do or talk about almost everything. People (rightfully) complain about Columbia’s bubble-ness, but don’t forget that among all the faculty, students, clubs, events, speakers, libraries, and Indian delivery options, there are plenty of excellent reasons to stay on campus.

3. The most beautiful things you can see and the most important things you can learn are not found in art museums or classrooms. They are all on Netflix.

“Back in my day…” the downtown 1 train ran on weekends, this country had never re-elected a black president, and Buzzfeed quizzes were what we called when you took finals on a caffeine-only diet.

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: Read more Whitman, talk more about Sephardic and Mizrahi Jews, play more banjo, listen to more Dylan, and eat more kale.

Write your most memorable note from the field: Two years ago I passed by these girls on Low Steps and thought I heard them say something about Seth Rogen as we exchanged glances. It’s still the best compliment I ever might have received.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? Anything that can taste better after being curdled, exposed to mold, and stored in a cave for 8 months is too magical to ever give up.

One thing to do before graduating: Take advantage of the fact that the previous question is only hypothetical.

Any regrets? There were multiple times these past four years when I was so consumed by stress and my other responsibilities that I often neglected to take care of myself and my friendships. Self-care and being a friend is serious business, y’all. I also wish I had fulfilled my duty as a curly-haired, glasses-wearing Jew and worked out a stand-up routine.