Finished product: Lerner? Cardboard Box? Who's to say.

Finished product: Lerner? Cardboard Box? Who’s to say.

Ahh, the gingerbread house. A symbol of holiday traditions, and also of Hansel and Gretel’s near-death experience at the hands of a witch. Bwoggers Lila Etter, Mia Lindheimer, and Phoebe Newton decided to get into the holiday spirit this weekend by making (or attempting to make) a gingerbread house. But this house has an added twist (or a series of twists, really)—they decided to make it look like Lerner! They share their valiant failed attempt at culinary creation below.

Ingredients:

  • Icing
  • Gingerbread cookie
  • Decorative candy of your choice

Instructions:

  1. Follow this handy dandy guide to making a gingerbread house from scratch. Or, if you’re like us, remember the finals you have to study for, and the papers you have to write, and the presentation you still have to prepare, and eventually settle for buying a Gingerbread House Kit off Amazon.
  2. Unwrap your newly-purchased, newly-delivered kit (s/o to Amazon for overnight shipping, and s/o to the mailroom for the best package notification we’ve ever received).
  3. Upon opening, discover that every single piece of gingerbread in the kit has been crushed into pieces of varying size during the journey. Resign yourself to the fact that Lerner might look a little more like the inside of BarnLib.
  4. Take out icing bag and massage for one minute. Wish that you were the icing bag.
  5. Following instructions on icing bag (“snip the tip”), begin piping the edges of the gingerbread pieces.
  6. Pipe icing onto plastic base and set up “walls,” which are also broken. Assemble your house (or student center) to the best of your ability, taking photos as you go (pics or it didn’t happen).
  7. Admire your results, knowing that at least you tried.
  8. Spend entire time while making gingerbread house wishing that you were just eating the gingerbread and crying about all the work you still have to do. Remember that once the photos of the gingerbread house have been taken and your work has been fully documented, you can immediately disassemble the house and fulfill your dreams.
  9. Complete Step #8, eating all decorative candy that never made its way onto the gingerbread creation.
  10. Feel immediate regret, but take heart in the fact that in less than two weeks, this will all be over.