Bwog everyday

As Bwog sits through our midterms this week, we’ve been amused with the sometimes hilarious, often extraneous thoughts which go through our heads. A Bwog staffer records their thoughts during an average experience of taking a midterm, inspired by true events.

The beginning (75 mins left)

OK what do we have here. I’ve studied for all of 10 minutes for this midterm. I’m good, let’s see…*opens test* fuck. Wow. Fuck. Ok maybe if I look through the test I’ll see something I know- ok never mind. I am no doubt, 100% percent fucked for this exam. *Cracks knuckles* time to start the bullshit. Ok Mona Lisa…The artist was Leonardo. Ugh finally Leonardo won an oscar damn. Ok. Focus. Leonardo’s genius as he stroked his paint brush on canvas brought out Mona Lisa’s sensual expression. I love his sensually pudgy cheeks and mouth watering enthusiasm about saving the world. No fuck wrong Leonardo again shit.

60 mins left

How did I literally just spend 15 minutes fantasizing about Leonardo DiCaprio? He’s everyone’s dream. Ok. Focus. Shit! People have finished the first section! Who’s next?Daaaamn Rembrandt! Back at it again with the self portraits! Ok, I’m making good time. Almost done with the ID’s. Why is all of this art about white people? *Flips through exam* it’s literally all white people. Focus! Wow I feel weird. Ok, done with the ID’s. Time for the comparisons.

45 mins left

I feel nauseous. SHIT THERE’S FUCKING 20 OF THEM. I gotta write fast. Look around, look around, at all these people! And all this art! Look at me. Why do you write like you’re running out of time? Because I am running out of time.Write faster. Do it for Lin. Wait, what am I writing about? I just wrote an essay about Hamilton, fml. Wow I feel so strange. I feel lightheaded. Keep writing.

30 mins left

Wait that’s weird, I already saw Mona Lisa. Why does she keep watching me?What the fuck is happening? Ok now I have to compare Bosch and- wait…why are these things moving? It’s ok, just turn the page and compare the other shit. That was weird…it’s ok keep writing. FUCK only 20 minutes left ok. My hand hurts. But oh my bullshit, my bullshit is such gold. Keep writing! Why is my hand literally burning? I feel so sick! FUCK my hand is on fire!!!

15 mins left

Where did everyone go? Oh my God why am I in a Bosch painting? Why is Mona Lisa here? Why is she eyeing me? She’s licking her lips the way I do when I look at Leonardo. That pasty, round, activist ass…yum. Wait, what am I doing here? Why is this bug fucking Mona Lisa? Why is the entire School of Athens having an orgy? What is happening? Why do I feel so sick? Wow I’ve been writing this midterm this whole time daaaaamn @myself! You go girl! Aaaaaaand done. Woah I’m back in the classroom! That was so weird. I feel so much better. That was a trip. Ok time to hand this grade-A bullshit in.

End

*Hands in exam to TA with smile of confidence* Wow I should take exams on acid more often.

Later

*Gets grade back* no I shouldn’t never mind.

Overused image macros via KC Green