I’m not kidding.

Humor me, for a moment, and imagine you’re a student at NYU. You’re interested in learning Catalan, but NYU doesn’t explicitly offer that course. However, in searching Albert, you find that there is an elementary course in Catalan, but it’s being taught in a building you’re unfamiliar with. You have a building code, though: “COLU.”

Now, you’re not alone– you suspect that “COLU” stands for “Columbia University.” But, just to be sure, you go to the official NYU site detailing classroom locations. You notice that there are six categories:

“All right,” you say out loud for some reason. “Let me check that ‘Off-campus locations’ link.” You click, and it shoots you down to the middle of the page.

You scour the page, looking for the “COLU” code… and find nothing. The closest you get is Canada (“CN”).

“Well, then,” you again say out loud much to the consternation of those trying to study in the second lower level of Bobst, “Guess I should check the ‘A-E’ section.” You scroll back up, find the A-E section, and locate the code.

And what does the code refer to?

Columbia University.

And then you realize.

Columbia is NYU.

The implications here are staggering, and raise a whole host of questions. When did NYU acquire Columbia? Has Columbia always been a school within NYU? Does this make our relationship with NYULocal… oedipal?

In any case, here’s a small but mighty list of things to expect given the news, courtesy of staff:

  • the official color is, in fact, pantone 2597
  • many more white guys with pulp fiction tshirts
  • we can claim all their alumni as ours
  • more cigarette smoking
  • “prezbo” is actually “deanbo,” and the real president is (and always has been) “a-ham”
  • columbia (ahem, nyu) students can now get downtown housing
  • better performing arts facilities
  • the average family income of students skyrockets due to like 3 nyu billionaires
  • bacchanal can finally get some dope ass people

Someone also suggested that this may be the beginning of a hostile takeover of Morningside.

Uh… sure. Just bring some of your restaurants along, too.

 

Photo courtesy of RoemerFilm