Mickal Adler is proof that you don’t have to be, as the kids say,  traditionally “involved” to be bestowed a Senior Wisdom.

Name, School, Major, Hometown:
Mickal, CC, Classics, New Orleans

Claim to fame:
Having red hair first-year spring. Twitter (I’ve even been picked up by minor media outlet Bwog). Best dressed. Throwing themed parties in the Greenborough/Potluck basement. Being an incredible DJ.

Where are you going?
I’m moving to DC to get a (fully funded) MA in Classics at the University of Maryland. Long term, I’d like to walk into the woods and never be seen or heard from again.

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2024?
Here are the three fundamental principles I’ve developed while at Columbia. I think they’re good advice for everyone, but especially for young people who are just about to start their time at college:

1. Being hot is a choice.
2. Literally anything can be cool as long as you’re hot.
3. Why wait?

“Back in my day…”
You were buying Christmas lights at Housewares. So adorable; so you. I was getting housing-approved command hooks at Hardwares next door. Oh, how young we were. We bumped into one another outside. We went to Up for coffee. Ninety-nine cents to fill up our go-cups, what a steal. Little did I know you’d steal my heart. We shared margaritas at Amigos. We went for the special and I had to finish your third quesadilla. We kissed in line at M2M, after shopping for your favorite seaweed crackers. We fell in love by the drink dispenser at Amir’s. I can still taste the cherry coke and chipotle falafel sauce.

Favorite Columbia controversy?
This one is more of a conspiracy than a controversy. I’m obsessed with the (popular) theory that there aren’t any birds on Columbia’s campus, and that the university has installed bird noise machines to both simulate bird vibes and keep actual birds off campus.

What was your favorite class at Columbia?
I have to say Lit Hum, for no other reason than that I had an incredible professor and she inspired me to change the course of my time here. After Lit Hum, I had the confidence to follow the degree I was passionate about (Classics) instead of choosing something boring and lame.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese?
To quote an email, “We also ask that you remember that this post will be going up under your name and as such may be viewable by future employers and others via Google Search. We encourage you to have fun and be honest in sharing your Wisdom, but this is a concern that previous recipients have come to us with and as such, felt it best to share their experiences with you so you can keep them in mind. It is Bwog’s policy that once a Senior Wisdom is posted, we will not permanently remove it from our site unless there are truly extraordinary circumstances.”

Whom would you like to thank?
My friends. My family. My haters. (Henry and Julia)

One thing to do before graduating:
Stay in the city over the summer. Don’t stay in Columbia housing; it’s a scam. Get an apartment and work a random job to pay rent. Go to the beach and spend 16 hours a day running around seeing friends and going out. Not going to school here is the only way to actually have enough fun in New York.

Any regrets?
If I had to pick one I guess it would be never joining any club ever. I actually don’t regret that but it’s something fun to mention.

an icon via Mickal