3 CommentsDo you ever think about ways Columbia could be better? The Bwog Staff does. Constantly. Here is a non-exhaustive list of shower thoughts. Admin, take notes!
- It’s the same but we all wear wigs
- Just spike the goddamn slushies at JJ’s
- Save us the step
- Fill the abandoned underground Barnard pool with 7,000,000,000,000 orbeez or, alternatively, every tear shed by a student ever
- Early pool party for Barnard students ONLY
- Make Introduction to Buoyant Boats a SEAS graduation requirement to even out the benefits (?) of the CC swim test
- Rename all Barnard campus buildings to start with “Mil-” to confuse Columbia kids even more
- Milarnard Hall
- The Milquad
- Harry Potter owls communication system
- But they are pigeons of course
- Bridges from roof to roof instead of underground tunnels
- Mac & cheese as a JJ’s staple
- PLEASE I’M BEGGING
- Destroy Butler
- Use the money earned back to give every student their personal butler
- Make taking more than one math class a semester illegal
- Open a new dining hall that is made entirely out of gingerbread
- Everyone has to carry their birth charts
- Star sign targeted bullying
- Columbia tunnels open again
- Students might get lost, never to find the exit again, and resort to killing rats as a way to survive. Lord of the Flies sorta situation
- Pro: new civilization created?
- Low Steps descend all the way to hell
- Pigeons are armed
- With very tiny, pigeon appropriate guns
- Earl Hall serves a purpose
- Permanent name change to “c*lumbia university” so you can more easily find tweets about it
- You’re given a major via sortition so no one can claim they’re smarter because they went into a STEM field
- No men for at least 230 years
- To make up for all the time women could not attend
- Better costumes for Millie and Roaree
- Making the Low Fountains look like real penises
- Gross. But kinda funny!
- Everyone gets a fireplace
- Half of the libraries are eradicated
- You know which half
- Columbia University renamed Barnard University
- Subverting the patriarchy is very cute
- If you ever utter the sentence “Well you don’t actually go to Columbia” to anyone at any of the four schools the ground opens up beneath you and you re-appear at Columbia College of Chicago with an expulsion letter in hand
- Fire PrezBo, replace him with a cardboard cutout of Roger Rabbit
- Shower the cutout with millions of dollars and a house it never uses.
- Make it a musical
- Roles will be raffled
Penis via Bwog Archive
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3 Comments
@Not misinformation How about we admit how stupid we were for going along with CU canceling in person classes?
CDC just released new estimates for infection fatality rates by age:
Six months later, CDC reports similar COVID-19 IFR estimates:
0-19 yrs: 0.003%
20-49 yrs: 0.02%
50+ yrs: 0.85%
@Beth Mackenzie What about all the people who don’t just feel sick for a day or two then get better? What about all the people with long-term complications? We still don’t know what the long-term effects are. Death is only the worst possible outcome; there are other bad ones.
@Anonymous dumb.