Forget how to talk to people after a year and a half of Zoom University? Bwog’s got you covered!
After Bwog’s smash-hit success “How To Impress Your Class Crush On Zoom” (shoutout to our dedicated commenters, you know we love you :’)), we decided to follow up with all our very best tips on how to grab the attention of that ~special someone~ in your socially-distanced lecture!
- Wear a diy Roar-ee cosplay to class to show off your school spirit
- Take a tip from Elle Woods and bend and snap as often as possible during lecture
- Get a mask of their face and wear it every day
- Super like them on Tinder, end up having a class with them, and avoid eye contact the rest of the semester
- Dress up for class and don’t just wear sweatpants
- Write your name with their last name all over a piece of binder paper and accidentally drop it by their seat (make sure to dot every “i” with a heart)
- Email your professor and demand they seat you next to your crush
- If the professor calls on you, only speak in movie quotes of their favorite film (who cares if the answer is wrong?? Classes are temporary, love is forever)
- Drop a writing utensil near them so they have to pick it up and give it to you
- Bring them a coffee/drink and say you got it for free so you want to give the extra one to them (you did indeed pay for it)
- Have other friends in the class so they see you laughing/socializing and realize they want to be a part of that with you
- Find a signature fragrance that you love and wear it all the time, doesn’t have to be a crazy perfume, can be a strong shampoo or a body mist or a favorite lotion? If you walk past or sit next to your crush they will smell you and you’ll smell nice and then it will make them think of you!
- Use Pavlov’s conditioning theory and bring them a treat every time you see them so every time they see you they automatically salivate
- Carry rose quartz and carnelian in your bag to energetically draw them towards you
- Go to class naked, they’ll admire your boldness
- Cut your hair in exactly the haircut that they already have
- Stalk your crush online hard enough to find their mom’s Facebook, message her and ask about their favorite baked good, make the baked good and bring it to them in class, say “oops, what a coincidence, I baked so many this weekend and thought wow maybe you’d want some”
- Trip and fall into their arms
- Find your crush on Spotify, play their most recent artists loudly and “accidentally” in the middle of lecture
- Sit behind them in class and whisper romantic affirmations under your breath, just loud enough so they can hear, and when they ask if you’re saying something, shrug and tell them “I hear it too”
- Slide small gifts into their backpack or tote bag when they’re not looking—things like bobby pins, pennies you found on the sidewalk, napkins from the dining hall, extra paper straws, blades of grass. Before long, they’ll realize they have a secret admirer…
- In the middle of your seminar, climb on the table and perform a self-choreographed dance to Queen’s “Somebody to Love” à la Anne Hathaway in Ella Enchanted
This could be us but you playin’ via px here