Violet Du Feng’s documentary, “The Dating Game,” follows the lives of three men who seem to be living it.

One of the things that I love about New York City is that I can find the most random things happening at the most unexpected times. A couple of weeks ago, I was having lunch with some family friends and enjoying a lazy Sunday, as we all must do every now and then. These friends are longtime New Yorkers, and naturally are in the know about anything cool or interesting happening around the city. Did I mention that I love being friends with interesting people? Anyway, they mentioned roaming around the city and finding a poster for an event called DOC NYC.  Me, being the naturally curious, brand spankin’ new New Yorker that I am, immediately pulled out my phone to Google what she was talking about. 

DOC NYC is a documentary festival in New York which shows screenings of new documentaries either debuting in the States or in the city. It happens every year around the beginning of November, and it’s a way of celebrating new, up-and-coming documentaries and filmmakers. Last Thursday, a friend and I got to see one of these documentaries for ourselves: “The Dating Game,” directed by Emmy award-winning Violet Du Feng.

Outside of the five-line description of the film on the DOC NYC website, we really had no idea what we were getting ourselves into but we were not disappointed. The film was screened downtown in the East Village–more specifically, at the beautiful and aptly-named Village East by Angelika. 

Inside, the very director, Du Feng, introduced us to the film. “The Dating Game” follows the lives of three young men, struggling to find love in the aftermath of China’s one-child policy, which has created a society with more men than women. The troubled men seek guidance from a professional dating coach who is arguably misguided himself. Under his wing, the men approach women on city streets, at marriage markets, and even at government-sponsored speed-dating events, all to no avail. Meanwhile, Chinese women struggle too, arguing that today’s men just can’t seem to understand them; out of despair, some turn to virtual connections instead. The process is dystopian, and the results, both pitiful and hilarious.

At the end of the film, the three men deliver a pre-recorded message to the audience before Du Feng, as well as several members of her crew, return to the front of the theater for a Q&A. Du Feng shared that, while she is grateful to see the audience laugh, she hopes we are laughing with the subjects and not at them. She reminds us that, while “The Dating Game” may be a film, the loneliness epidemic plaguing Chinese (and also American) society is very real and very scary. 

I think that all-in-all, DOC NYC delivered an interesting think piece and a fun night out on the city. DOC NYC is rare, interesting enough to be popular, and attention-grabbing, but not overrun with people. We were easily able to get last-minute tickets. More importantly, what more fun is there than enjoying a movie in a theater after a long week? What I am saying is I had a lovely time, and I ardently look forward to DOC NYC 2026.

Image via Bwog Archives