Win access to thousands of Columbia student e-mail addresses. Win a first-year seminar with a Korean Idol finalist. Win a number to earn a chance to possibly secure a spot to see the Target Lady. Win an Icky Sticky Hand after playing three hours of “Street Fighter.” Win a medal, leg cramps, and a post-race […]

 -Via motivatedphotos.com Graduates + Job Market = Sadness Morningside Heights – La Negrita = Awfulness The Books / Poor Publicity = Confusion and Regret Dartmouth * Not Losing = Depression 

If you don’t, he will hold you up at gunpoint in front of Morton one of these days.  Of course art won’t scandalize the average fallen Wall Streeter. Take him to Hooters if you really want to offend his conservative values.  College Dems stick it to a secretary in Albany who has no idea what […]

SIPA just needs some time alone with its sister departments, okay? God, you’re pushy. CC promises its budget cuts won’t affect financial aid. This is to make up for all the flashers and thieves Public Safety isn’t telling you about. We are scarily addicted to coffee, you guys. Come on in, alumni, we just want […]

Wait, when did 2012 student council debates happen again? And what does the freshmen student council actually do? Spec Revelation #2320: If you don’t like parts of the Core, you can talk about what you don’t like in a public forum. Like John Jay dining hall? Political apathy runs rampant, but you’re definitely not going […]

“You’re My Best Friend,” Queen “King of Wishful Thinking,” Go West “Make Your Own Kind of Music,” The Mamas & the Papas “Eye in the Sky,” Alan Parsons Project “My Way,” Frank Sinatra

African Studies at CU is scattered. I guess that fits with the whole Diaspora thing. A new housing policy is making it harder for the Jewish community to find good homes. John Jay breakfast isn’t just like home for international students (or anyone, for that matter). More property issues to our North.

You mean there’s someone else screwing over West Harlem too? PrezBo fears for his life, sucks his thumb at night. Barnard has no money or teachers, but SIPA goes on carving? Columbia accepts corporate sponsorship, billboards will go up on low steps. 

The university must convince us that freshmen are not the harbingers of all evil. So far, they haven’t bothered. Your trip to South Beach was fab and everything, but this March DSpar went to China. If you ignore all the programs centered around living and learning, the LLC really isn’t so bad. Columbia takes its […]

Columbians love/can’t afford a nice glass of of Chianti At last, a Spec column that doesn’t mention Bwog. Except in the headline. Tomorrow, 21,000 aspiring Columbians get that fated letter from Jessica Marinaccio and find out if they take the step from high school, “the brain’s merry-go-round” to college, the brain’s “Wii”. From talking about […]

 Image courtesy of Mom3Teach NYU students are way, way cooler than we could ever hope to be. The homeless are too lazy to build their own robots. New York City is the center of the Universe. Of all the aquatic mammals, it’s the beavers who will accost you. Lerner 6 has no purpose — okay, […]

 -Photo via Failblog.org The MTA is raising fares and cutting service. The M96 is the slowest bus in the City. And the person with the best lottery number is studying abroad!

Plan B’s an abortion, masquerading as birth control? Not a vitamin for the average infrequently but recently laid college girl? Written sequel to the movie Goodfellas discovered under ruse cover of history prof’s new book. Unfortunately, another unlikely goldmine found in Roget’s Thesaurus (all the gossip you could ever want, seriously) is written in invisible […]

Without government-sponsored education programs, our kids will spend all their free time staging elaborate twenty-car pileups with Hot Wheels. Opening Columbia offices in China and Jordan proves to be a lot less hassle than opening any in Manhattanville. The new breed of campus band is scrappy, ambitious, and can be found in your laundry room. […]

Deal with housing Pay $2.50 to ride the subway Think about life after graduation Prepare for a grim Columbia baseball season just when it was starting to get nice out Read another Spec columnist complain about Bwog. This week: why does Bwog let everyone write those comment things?