Our second series during Orientation is called “Bi-Partisan Dorm Reviews.” The series seeks to show both the pros and cons of living in whatever residence hall that you (hopefully) chose. For non-freshman housing, we did reviews of many upperclassmen buildings during the Housing Lottery, which you can see here. Second up is Carman. As always, feel free to add your own pros and cons in the comments.
Carman is the imposing hunk of concrete that sticks out of 114th and Broadway. Made up of suite-style two-room doubles, the dorm serves as a perfect factory of freshman for frat row. Every tour guide will tell you that “Carman is the social dorm!” which really just means residents don’t mind falling asleep to the smell of weed. Read on for more evidence of the double-edged sword that is Carman.
- The cleanliness and solitude of your personal bathroom. Hallway toilets will never compare.
- Four-person suites make for instant, sometimes mandatory friendships.
- Dorm parties every weekend (another floormate arranged a personal beer-pong table with nothing but his wits and an old slab of cardboard).
- Sexiling opportunities are boundless
- Couch wars!: Raiding other floors and stealing furniture as revenge for getting your remote stolen has become a yearly tradition.
- Cool security guard Mike who enlightens freshies on self-promotion while selling you his jazz CD if he thinks he can trust you.
- A minute’s distance from the subway as well as the behemoth of social encounters and frozen yogurt that is Lerner.
- Seemingly cooler RAs than usual (ours used condoms and lube for our icebreaker… though he did later call campus security for one of our parties and was hence considered an asshole).
- One measly kitchen for the whole dorm, relegated to the bottom floor and completely impractical for any cooking purposes unless you have a personal cart.
- Two elevators for about 600 residents means unusually long waiting time to get to your floor and an even more uncomfortable standing situation. Move-in/out is particular hell.
- Waking up to the sound of construction workers and garbage men at 6am.
- Coming back from class to the familiar smell of weed in the hallway.
- Getting sexiled.
- Prison-like walls that do little to combat seasonal depression.
- Frat debauchery is your view from the window, with accompanying late night noises to boot (particular favorites are the “WOOOS!!” of random drunk girls at four in the morning).
- Making the most of those gazillion John Jay meals in the dead of winter is impossible
- Weekly disasters in the elevator after a raucous weekend (read: every weekend). The concoction usually includes an unorthodox mix of vomit, pee, and/or spilled beer.