Name, school: Dick Bullitt Brown, University of Havana – North

Claim to fame: Butt-ass naked CC presentation on ontological anarchy. The author, Hakim Bey, is a Columbia grad, like me.

Where are you going? Into the world/into the wild. Gotta find out whether openness is really my anti-drug.

Three things you learned at Columbia:

  1. Beware of any lesson taught in words
  2. Every molecule of water breaks and reforms its bonds a trillion times a minute
  3. You never know what you don’t know

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: I think, therefore I am thankful.

Any war stories from the War on Fun? Ooh boy… One time, an older PS officer walked into our Ruggles suite and said, “That’s one of the top five weirdest things I’ve ever seen.” By the way, let’s all streak the quad.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? There are soy substitutes for cheese, but no soy substitutes for lips and tongues. Yet.

Any advice for the Class of 2014? My favorite freedom comes from remembering that life has proved me dead wrong far too many times for me to predict the future. — Be open to things and they’ll be open to you. — Never abuse your drugs…treat them well and they’ll treat you well. Also, The flow is there to be gone with. -J. Swanson And, It’s only a problem if it’s a problem. -D.S.

Any regrets? All the jealousies and insecurities… sometimes I forget that it’s a mistake to be jealous of anyone because everyone’s got their own crazy, crazy shit goin on. If I can deal with mine I’m ahead of the game.