Dear Bwog: When Your T.A. Asks You Out
Written by Bwog Staff
Dear Bwog is back! But we’re changin’ it up a little this time. First you’ll hear from Bwog’s self-proclaimed ”decent heterosexual male Suzy May.” Then, one of our Bwoggals weighs in. Bwog…we have a split personality! Send in your own trials and tribulations to firstname.lastname@example.org.
My T.A. just asked me out via e-mail:
Hope the exam went well for you on Monday. I was wondering if you wanted to get coffee sometime?
See you soon,
What should I do?!
Titillated at Teacher’s College
A T.A. Oh dear. How taboo, how scandalous….how….eh.
T.A.s run the gamut from overachieving Juniors preparing their med school applications, to underfunded “grabos” filling their time between showers at Dodge. That’s a pretty wide and varied segment of the population to make any sort of general sort of judgment on. With only four weeks left to the semester, I say go for it. Nothing about the status of T.A. technically prevents coffee.What’s the worst that can happen?
Some awkwardness if things don’t work out is the universal risk when it comes to a single date. With a month left, and hopefully a few absences still uncashed, I’m sure you can stomach it. If on the other hand, you were hoping to reap some academic benefits from this experience– let go of the dream. I know more than a handful of students who would have gladly given up their virtue for a grade boost. Unfortunately T.A.s are again driven, underfed creatures (and a valuable part of our academic structure), they are not going to risk their job or that precious recommendation letter for a quick hump.Finally, remember that T.A. stands for ‘teacher assistant’. Just in case the allure of the acronym and tastefully done PowerPoint layout are mimicking attraction where there actually isn’t.
BwogGirl offers some wise words:
BwogBoy seems to have gotten it about right. Your T.A. is just a person with a little more power, and unlike a boss or some other superior, this power only lasts until May 13th, while the story you can tell your friends about the time you went on a date with your T.A. will last at least through the end of the summer. So if you’re interested in your T.A., even just a friend, I say go for it. It’ll be fun, or at least different, and if it turns you like each other beyond coy glances over your turtlenecks during discussion section, all the better!
That said, make sure you’re both in this for the right reasons. If you suspect you might be looking for a better grade, or that your T.A. will try and use their power to make you date/have sex with/buy cookies for him or her, say no! And lucky for you no matter what your answer to the e-mail will be, it’ll be much easier to say it over e-mail than in person or by phone. And the established method of communication means you and your T.A. never have to acknowledge one another in class if you don’t want to! Take the e-mail as an opportunity, and do with it what you want.