Apr

13

Types Of People In A Fire Drill

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This could be you before your fiery death

It’s 8 am and you hear the worst sound known to humanity: the unmistakable sound of the fire alarm. You’re not sure how to react to the drill, and you’re not even sure if it’s a drill in the first place! Bwog is here to help you with your dilemma of what type of person you should be in a fire drill.

1. Sleeping in: You were already planning on skipping your 8:40 and there’s no way some measly fire drill is gonna stop you from getting your eight hours. You crack one eye open to get a feel for your surroundings and drag yourself out of bed to shuffle around to find your headphones. You find the perfect soothing playlist on Spotify and snuggle back into bed for another few hours, only slightly worried that this could be your fiery death.

2. Take it seriously: You hear the blaring screeches of the alarm and you jump out of bed, struggle to find some clothes that aren’t dirty and run for your life because THIS IS NOT A DRILL. You know from all your years of mandatory safety class that one should never take the elevator during a fire, so you rush to the stairs, even if you live on the 16th floor of Schapiro (rip).

3. You were in the shower: You scrubbing your hair, when you hear the alarm. You grab your towel with suds still in your hair and trample down the stairs in your damp shower shoes, praying to some holy power that you don’t see anyone you know because you’ll never be able to live this down.

4. Succumbing to Peer Pressure: You crawl out of bed and poke your head out of your room to check and see if this isn’t another bell test, when you see you floor mates congregated in the hallway. You ask if this is real, and they say they don’t care and are going back to bed. You nod your head yes and pretend to be going back to your room in order to go with the status quo, but quickly make to the stairwell when no one is looking because you’ll feel guilty if this is how you died.

5. Your Roommate is the Most Nervous Person You’ve Ever Met: You hear the alarm and roll over to grab your headphones to sleep through it, when suddenly you feel a weight on top of you. You’re absolutely positive you didn’t hook up with anyone last night, so you’re confused. You realize it’s your roommate and their already dressed and dragging you out of bed insisting “that this is an emergency!” and “I’m not gonna feel guilty about your death too.” You’re annoyed but you know your roommate has the best intentions, so you struggle to get out of bed and follow them down the stairwell begrudgingly.

6. Chill and Stroll: The alarm is beeping annoyingly, so you pull on a hoodie and walk slowly to the stairwell, irritated that this is happening so early, but you know that this is important in order to ensure the safety of Columbia students, so you follow the rules. You carefully maneuver the stairs and make it outside safely with your peers and wait for the alarms to turn off and go back to your room to enjoy a few more minutes of sleep before getting ready for class.

7. You Started It: You were just trying to make some popcorn in the microwave despite it being breakfast hours (you just didn’t want to walk all the way to Ferris okay!). You set the popcorn in for 2 minutes, accidentally hitting that extra zero and promptly forgot about your popcorn. Now the whole building is evacuating and there’s no way the security cameras caught you, so you blend in with the crowd and act just as annoyed about this ‘drill.’

In all seriousness, you should always evacuate the building during a fire drill, no matter the circumstances, even if they are a bit unfortunate. No one wants to die because they decided they wanted an extra five minutes of sleep so be safe and follow the rules so you can stay alive!

Image via Pixabay

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1 Comment

  1. Unrelated but someone needs to know

    I saw an old admirer in lions head

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