Keepin’ it real

The Westside Cheese Aisle, stress culture, and bouncing boobs are all topics in Brett Krasner’s senior wisdom. Get some context below.

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Brett Krasner, GS/JTS, Political Science/Talmud (Rabbinic Law), West Chester, PA

Claim to fame: I’m currently the 21 year-old that plans events for my aging GS peers so they don’t impeach my ass. Prior to being a washed up senior, I was the only non-funny member of The Federalist’s editorial board. I’m also known for being willing to fight for Wawa’s honor.

Where are you going? I’ll be working in consulting in the city! On the weekends, you can probably find me bar-crawling with friends for a made up holiday, or trying to reenact It’s Always Sunny because #phillypride.

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2021?
1) There are two ills that I have noticed on campus during my time here- that of elitism and that of stress culture. With elitism, someone that is different from you or comes from a different background is either stupid or not as good as you are, you feel entitled because you sit on student government or run (insert club here), or you rock because you chill with Prezbo or any administrator from “The College”. Humility is a crucial quality and at the end of the day, we all return to being the same dust.

With stress culture, we come off as cool by complaining about how unhealthy your workload is (although destigmatizing mental health issues is great). While it is incredibly crucial that we mobilize for policy initiatives to help our community from our often unforgiving school, we also need to accept partial responsibility and be there for our peers as well. It’s so much easier to blame the administration and schoolwork as solely the manifestation of our woes instead of trying to create a better and more loving atmosphere on campus.

2)  You do not know everything or nearly everything, even on topics in which you think you are an expert, and that is a great thing. Attend talks, register for classes that push your boundaries, and engage in intense conversations with those from other identities and views that might make you feel a tad uncomfortable. Otherwise, you’re wasting your 4 years and your tuition money to graduate from an echo chamber.

3) Your peers on this campus are some of the most fantastic and interesting people that you will ever meet. It’s better to be getting involved on campus and meet and form bonds with new people than by wasting your spare time on Netflix. They will make and keep your life infinitely more interesting and worthwhile. College is hard, there’s no way to get around that. If you feel like you’re getting smothered by life at CU, hop on the 1 train, go for a walk along the Hudson River, and hangout with your friends. Life is beautiful, albeit a bit flawed, and your college experience can be too with the help of your peers.

“Back in my day…” Public Safety didn’t act like a Jewish mother at Bacchanal, my straight friends would get hit on at Suite more than I did, campus activist groups gave a shit about their Jewish peers (you know it’s an issue when Nazi paraphernalia is found on campus and activist groups don’t even bother reaching out to the mainstream Jewish community to support them).
If you disagree about any of the above, I’d love to get coffee and chat because ~discourse~.

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: I’m just your super friendly gay Jewish boy that is trying to find some good discourse, good people, and even better soup in a big world.

What was your favorite class at Columbia? I absolutely loved taking CC with Prof. Stephanie Ramsey.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? Coming from someone that’s lactose intolerant, if you think that there is something better in life than the cheese section of Westside, then you’re objectively wrong.

One thing to do before graduating: Bounce on the boobs at the Sex Museum, that shit is super fun. Hit up Suite when you can and take bartending classes while you’re at it.

Any regrets? Not taking a linguistics class with McWhorter is literally every single regret I have in a nutshell.

That smile!! via Brett Krasner