Everything must go!

As we saw over the summer, Columbia Spectator departed from their flagship 111th street location. All that Spec and no where to park it! We put together a list of potential properties we think they should look into:

Lerner Party Space: The shitty wifi would allow the staff to literally and figuratively disconnect. Plus, good vibes from the sorority chapter meetings and occasional Dollarama held there will linger, lifting their spirits.

Low Library: So they can be even closer to the administration. Kissing ass from six blocks away can be difficult at times!

EC Air Shaft: While there is a lack of natural light, this would be a great space for them to at least create an interesting story.

Carman Stairwell: For some privacy ;)

Teachers College Basement: The Teacher’s College Basement has plenty of space and is conveniently located near Joe Coffee. Also, they could fall into a temporal wormhole.

A McBain Double: McBain offers an intimate setting for writing and creativity. Great walls for hanging posters.

Riverside Park: Will attract a hipper, younger crowd. Doesn’t smell THAT bad. Really nice view of the Westside Highway.

John Jay Lounge: So they won’t have to wake up at 6 am to beat us to the better couch during housing selection.

John Jay Dining Hall: The abundance of seating space would allow them to host useful parties, celebrating the useful opeds they keep putting up.

John Jay’s Place: They could save money on food and spend it on something decent – maybe some Fuck Bwog stickers?