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Sep

14

How To Be Successful At Instagram: Columbia Edition

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Do you want to be Instagram famous? I know I do

If you’re anything like me, your life dream is to be Instagram famous. I’m not actually Instagram famous, but I spend enough time on Instagram to know how to Instagram successfully. Here is a list of things you have to have on your Instagram to be successful at Instagram at Columbia.

  • Aesthetic pictures of Low and Butler, bonus points if it’s at sunset or sunrise
  • A picture of you and/or your friends sitting on a windowsill, bonus points if the view behind you is of the New York skyline
  • Actual pictures of the New York skyline
  • Views from your dorm room window (if you aren’t shafted somewhere)
  • Pictures from a frat party that everyone knows turned messy as hell, but don’t actually post messy pictures; post the ones in which you look good and like you’re having fun
  • If you are in a sorority, pictures with balloons in the shape of your letters and hand signs in the shape of your letters and pictures with a cardboard sign of your letters, etc.
  • A picture with you and that igloo outside of Butler in the winter
  • A picture of Ref Room, whether that be a picture of you in Ref or a picture of the Ref ceiling
  • Pictures of you and all your Columbia friends on Low steps having a great time being Columbia students

  • Carefully spaced out pictures from downtown that are frequent enough on your feed that people know you leave campus, but not frequent enough to make it look like you go to NYU
  • A really high-quality picture of you (friends optional) that was obviously taken by one of those artsy photographer people who do and always will have a better Instagram than you, bonus points if your Columbia hat/hoodie/shirt is clearly visible, bonus points if it’s in snow
  • A picture with Deantini
  • A picture of you with obvious beer/wine/some other contraband that makes it known to the world that you Have Fun And Go Out™ (disclaimer: Bwog does not promote or endorse underage drinking or drug use)
  • Aesthetic, well-lit pictures of your room
  • Occasional pictures of Central Park (or alternatively, Morningside Park, but tag the location as Central Park, so you seem more New York and therefore cooler)
  • A few dimly lit pictures from various formals that you are nicely dressed up in
  • Some pictures at/overlooking the Hudson, bonus points if it’s at night
  • Spring break pictures from Amsterdam, Cancun, Miami, etc., bonus points if it was posted in the middle of April as a throwback
  • Pictures on/with Alma Mater
  • Pictures from Bacchanal in which you look like you’re having fun and not half-dead

Some additional tips and tricks to make your feed look Columbia Good™:

  • That whole #nofilter trend? Ditch it.
  • Just keep it consistent. Either keep the contrast high or low consistently throughout your feed. Make it colorful or monochrome, or balanced. High saturation or low. Whatever you do, consistency is key.
  • The more Columbia Blue, the better. Tip: the sky is Columbia Blue right before the sun sets.
  • You didn’t wake up like this, and don’t pretend you did.
  • Everyone knows you go to Columbia, but make sure everyone knows you go to Columbia.

Instagram Logo via Youngweon Lee

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1 Comment

  1. Anonymous  

    this is the most boring thing i have ever seen. i can't even tell if it's satire or not. does bwog really think no one at cu has a personality??? does anyone at bwog have a personality??

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