Sep

25

Field Notes: An Ode to FAPing

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Here at Bwog, we are lovers, not fighters. We enjoy life’s simple pleasures, which are reflected in our weekend activities. To put it simply, we love to FAP on the weekends – focus on family/friends, alcohol, and parties. You get the picture. Anyways, please enjoy reading the shit we did this weekend, because we sure as hell did.

Bwog Loves Friends and Family:

  • Tried to snort my Uber driver’s Febreze air freshener because it reminded me of home.
  • Called my mom as an excuse to avoid a study group.
  • Went home sick so that my mom could nurse me back to health.
  • Accidentally watched New Age pornography with my roommates.
  • Organized a surprise birthday party for Bwog editor in chief Amara Banks and new features editor Timmy Wu.
  • Fell asleep with a half-eaten apple in my hand after a party, which my friend, who was taking care of me, gently took out of my asleep hand.
  • A stranger from New Jersey told me he fell in love with me.
  • Went to a birthday party for a friend of a friend of a friend.

Bwog Loves Alcohol:

  • Had a drunk encounter with my PHE interviewer who I told three days earlier that I didn’t drink.
  • Was called “homegirl” by my doctor after he saw that my liver bounced back after my first year of college (I swear I don’t drink that much).

  • Went to the Lower East Side with other Bwoggers and got drunk in a half shut vegan cafe.
  • Crossed out my total on my 1020 receipt because what dive bar charges $10 for Long Islands?? Tried to negotiate down to $7; was told that’s not how it works.
  • Had my first Morningside Heights Shake Shack sandwich but was too drunk to remember how good it was. Rip.

Whoever brought a huge dinosaur balloon onto the train, please just know you’re my fucking hero.

 

Bwog Loves Parties/Getting Wild:

  • Inspired an entire EC party to get lit to an anime theme.
  • Black out at a polo match I randomly got VIP tickets to on Governor’s Island
  • Went to an unlit house party, made it lit by stealing the aux cord and playing exclusively Reggaeton and Romanian music.
  • Ran through the Unisphere Fountain which inspired a strong desire to run through more fountains.
  • Spent all day Saturday high at Rockaway Beach.
  • Accidentally fell asleep for an hour with a face mask on, panicked when I woke up with it crusted onto my face.
  • Threw out half of the shit in my work’s office while my hoarder boss was out of town.
  • Went farther than the subway goes into Queens to go to a neighborhood street fair. Lit bouncy castles doe.

Image via Bwog Staff Member Submission

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