New Jersey: the only state where loud mothers, Italian fuckboys, and a shitty bus system can coexist peacefully.

Another weekend has passed, meaning Bwog has been up to our same old shit since you’ve last heard from us. While some things that went on this weekend were wholesome, most of them weren’t. Here are some of the highlights of the Bwog staff’s weekends!

Bwog in the City:

• Walked the Brooklyn Bridge and took some hella artsy black and white photos.
• Smoked with my friends in Riverside Park while we watched the leaves change.
• Took the wrong NJ Transit bus and got lost in New Jersey while trying to pick up a package; ended up spending the same amount of money I thought I’d be saving on shipping by calling an Uber to get from the town I’d accidentally gone to to the town I was supposed to go to. Went back to New Jersey two days later.
• Went to a Princess Nokia concert in Williamsburg and she kicked me in the face while crowdsurfing. Very awesome. Not so awesome was the half-full strawberry lemonade svedka we pregamed with and then accidentally left on the street.
• Told two friends from out of town that I’d take them to the best NYC brunch of their lives… we ended up going to Absolute Bagel.
• Went to an arcade in Chinatown and watched my friend rack up a 300+ streak at DDR.

Read more about our shitty weekends here.

Legend says if you leave your underwear on the EC elevator on a Friday or Saturday night you won’t black out or get your stomach pumped.

Underwear: it’s the first thing most of us put on when getting dressed. (And to those weirdos who put on socks first: what is the point of that?) If you feel good about the underwear you have on, anecdotal evidence and your mom both suggest that you feel more confident. So the loss of underwear is particularly tragic especially because, while you might be mildly annoyed to lose a sock to the gaping void that is the washing machine, that kind of loss is expected. Losing a pair of underwear, on the other hand, is rarer and therefore more painful.

This lonely, lovely pair of underwear has been separated from its owner and doomed to travel up and down in the EC elevator, garnering strange looks from residents, until someone from maintenance gingerly picks it up and throws it away. Meanwhile, other elevator riders will be wary of it. Everyone knows that if you get too close to elevator underwear, it’ll bond with you and follow you home.

To the owner of the underwear: what happened? Did this undergarment fall out of your laundry bag? Maybe you saw it when you next took the elevator, but there were other people there and you were too embarrassed to pick it up, because how weird is that. Or did you get lucky in the elevator and just forget to grab your panties as you left? If that’s the case, was the sex worth the loss of that brightly colored underwear?

But on the bright side, just think of all that this underwear will bear witness to! From sandy seniors on their way to senior night to drunken first-years still figuring out how much alcohol they can handle, anything that spends a significant amount of time in an EC elevator is sure to experience a fascinating cross-section of Columbia. Until, that is, someone inevitably spills beer on it.

Image via Submission to Bwog

Only people who don’t drink enough water say these taste differentl

Are you a FIJI lover? And no, I’m not talking about the Frat, I’m talking the close to $3 bottle of water. The water that apparently is sourced from volcanic springs and has become synonymous with  luxury. If you are, eschewing the pragmatism and convenience of  Poland Spring, then you will most likely seek out those more luxe watering holes. At Columbia, not all water fountains are created equally, which mirrors the many nuanced differences between the two bottled water brands mentioned above. Seek out the playful comparisons below to see what water fountain would most likely be the bottling source of your favorite water bottle brand.

Schermerhorn Ext. (Crystal Geyser) – If you are lucky enough to find a working water fountain, this water will dribble out somewhat warmly and sporadically. Like Crystal Geyser, you are better off sterilizing your own urine.

Altschul (Ozarka) – This water stinks. No, it really smells. Its decaying background and proximity to a moldy wall may have something to do with this.

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Ronald Smith, king of King’s College for a day, after his game-winning TD.

This weekend, Columbia Football captured the imagination of Ivy League (and other!) fans when they won a dramatic victory against the Princeton Tigers, 28-24. Why shouldn’t fans be excited? Columbia hasn’t had a winning season since 1996, before most members of the sophomore Class of 2020 were even born. Going into this weekend, the Lions were a miserable 3-14 against the Tigers since 2000, when the two teams began facing off in the Ivy opener. Factor in a highlight reel game-winning play and an American focus on college football as a revenue sport, and it makes sense why so many students are excited for Columbia Football’s shiny new 3-0 record.

But the football team isn’t the only undefeated squad playing up at Baker. Fresh off an Ivy League Championship campaign, the Men’s Soccer team has flown out to an undefeated 5-0-2 record and a national ranking. As the team seeks to prove that their 2016 title was not merely a result of Harvard’s disqualification (remember?), they do so in front of junior Dylan Castanheira, the best goalie in the league last year by save percentage (.903!) and goals against average (.290!!). Men’s Soccer will host its next Ivy game on Sunday, September 8th against Penn.

Women’s Soccer is also undefeated at home, including their recent 11-0 rout of Wagner. Led by a five-strong senior class featuring twin sisters Holly and Natalie Neshat and All-Ivy defender Natalie Ambrose, the team will get the athletic weekend started on Friday, September 6th against Penn at home at 7 pm. The currently 6-4-1 Lions faded from title contention at the end of last season, but they will end the season at home this year against defending champions Harvard.

Volleyball also has high hopes, aiming to build off of last year’s 9-5 Ivy season. The team has adjusted to the loss of their libero, Ivy League Defensive Player of the Year Cassie Wes, by refusing to identify one libero, splitting the digging duty across the squad. Sophomore setter Grace Campbell returns from a season of leading the Ivy League in assists, and currently leads the League in service aces per set. She is joined on the attack by Rookie of the Year middle blocker Chichi Ikwuazom and the team’s lone senior, Anja Malesevic. The team returns home on Friday, October 13th to take on the Penn Quakers.

Roar, Lion, Roar via @ColumbiaLionsFB

Happening Around The World: In an independence referendum vote, 90% of individuals in Catalonia voted for independence from Spain. Spanish police injured hundreds of individuals in Catalonia in response to the vote, with the Spanish government not recognizing the referendum as being legal. (The Guardian)

Happening In The US: A mass shooting occurred last night during a music festival at the Mandalay Bay Resort Hotel in Las Vegas, Nevada. Over 50 people have been killed, making it the deadliest mass shooting in the history of the United States. (NBC)

Saying goodbye to everyone’s least favorite bridge in the city.

Happening In NYC: Just like my grades and my will to do work this semester, the Kosciuszko Bridge went down yesterday morning, a bridge that once connected the boroughs of Brooklyn and Queens. A planned implosion caused the bridge to fall down, allowing for construction of a newer, more modern bridge. (NBC)

Happening On Campus: The SGA is hosting a livestream with Barnard president Sian Beilock TONIGHT at the Diana Center from 8-9 PM. More information regarding this event can be found here.

Overseen At Columbia: Two girls at Ferris trying to make out with each other through the windows while one girl’s pasta bowl spills under her.

What I’m Listening to Today: Mi Gente Feat. Beyonce – J Balvin

Kosciuszko Bridge Is Falling Down via Curbed NY