Oct

12

Butler Rooms Ranked By Optimal Crying Locations (From Worst to Best)

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Butler Ref (300-level)

Coming in at number 3, Ref is the best way to make sure your breakdown resembles the Ivy League caliber you constantly strive for

We’ve all been there at one time or another: It’s your ninth hour in Butler, you have three midterms this week and you just feel the overall need to let your stress out in the form of light tears and subtle screams. As far as coping mechanisms go, it’s one of the healthier ones, so Bwog Staff Writer Megan Wylie left her cozy cubby on the 4th floor in search of the best location in times of crisis. 

7. 5th Floor Reading Rooms

The glass doors and lack of personal space in these rooms make this resemble a pitiful zoo. All anyone needs to do is walk out of the elevator and you’re met with awkward eye contact from a girl in your NSOP group three years ago. 2/10

6. The Stacks

Although the stacks would be the obvious place to hide out from your TA returning from a smoke break outside, don’t be so easily fooled. Yes, it’s quiet; yes, it’s secluded; yes it’s dark, but it’s only a matter of time before the solitary confinement of Stacks level 8 gets to you and you start hallucinating said TA winking at you from the next bookshelf over. 3.5/10

5. Islamic Studies Room/East Asian Studies Room/Graduate Reading Rooms

While the nice views and cozy nature provide a guise of a safe place to cry, it has its limits.  First, the smallness works against you and your voice will amplify, leading to a lot of confused faces glaring at you when you scream “I should have gone to Cornell!” Second, the fact that it closes at 11 is a major drawback—Everyone knows Butler breakdowns are to be conducted between the hours of 1AM and 4 AM. 5/10

4.  209

209 is like the classic Columbia student: a little studious, a little testy and a little fun. As far as study spots go, it’s a pretty good one–as long as you don’t sneeze too loudly. In times of crisis, however, 209 is too public for my liking. Plus, you risk a significantly awkward interaction if you’re sitting at a two-person table.  6.5/10

3. Ref/301

Ref can go either way. The chandeliers and tall ceilings can be scholastically daunting, and the sound of silence with a touch of whispered gossip is enough to break those of us on our sixth cup of copy in the midst of a thesis induced psychosis. Due to its size, you’re safe to run to the stairway if you’re near the entrance, but if you’re in one of the back rows, you better hope you’re not walking down the aisle of your social funeral. 7/10

2. ButCaf

I don’t know how anybody can do anything but a group project in ButCaf, but who am I to judge. The cafeteria-esque vibe provides an impressive amount of noise muffling, and the access to a giant cookie is unparalleled. All in all, it’s a solidly mediocre place for a 3 am cry and subsequent chocolate binge. 8/10

1. 403

A bastion of hope in the endless black hole that is Butler Library. The cubbies are an anti-social studier’s dream and provide ample privacy for when you need to take a recovery break to watch Law & Order: SVU. The fourth floor is like the beautiful love child of Ref and the 6th Floor Reading rooms, creating a pristine melange of sociality, quiet, and calmness. 10/10

Honorary Mentions:

Avery:

Honestly, it goes without saying, but unless you want forty hipsters with wire-rimmed glasses shooting you death glares from behind their copy of The Brothers Karamazov. -0.5/10

Staircase:

Not technically a library room per se, but the staircases should be valued no less as a prime breakdown getaway. The dim lighting, accessibility, and sound isolation is a true blessing. I will admit it’s not the comfiest, but it’s truly the best if you need a quick recovery scream in between assignments.  14/10

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1 Comment

  1. The Salty Seaman  

    you forgot 8th floor cubicles

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