The Ultimate Parents to Pregame Playlist

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With Family Weekend beginning tomorrow for Barnard students, you may find yourself wondering if there’s a playlist out there that can transition from a much-needed Bed, Bath and Beyond excursion with your parents to your average weekend debauchery. Luckily, Bwog has you covered! Check out the list of songs below.

Your mom will definitely be posting this exact picture on Facebook this weekend.

  1. Uber Everywhere by MadeinTYO: This is a classic pregame anthem that, for the weekend, could become your reality because your mom probably thinks the subway is dirty and dangerous.
  2. Little Lies by Fleetwood Mac: It’s not actually hurting anyone when you tell your parents that you haven’t really been letting the Columbia stress culture get to you, that you’ve been washing your bedsheets twice a month, or when you assure them that you have been eating regularly and healthily.
  3. Working for the Weekend by Loverboy: This is what your parents are convinced you’ve been dedicating your time to in the days leading up to their arrival, blissfully unaware of the impending terror that will set in on Sunday night when you’re met with the responsibilities you’ve been putting off in favor of brunches and sightseeing.
  4. Breakfast in America by Supertramp: “It’s been some time since we last spoke, and this is gonna sound like a bad joke, but mama, I fell in love again…” It’s still too soon to determine if that hookup from NSOP is ever going to develop into a real relationship, which is a shame because you probably won’t have another opportunity to introduce your parents anytime soon. But that won’t keep you from telling your mom about it if she asks about your love life, in hopes that it will alleviate her fears of never having grandchildren.
  5. Let’s Groove by Earth, Wind, and Fire: Putting this one on the playlist almost feels like cheating. Earth, Wind and Fire is one of the few musical acts that somehow manage to completely transcend generation and are guaranteed to both get the party started and put a smile on your dad’s face and make him think that maybe your generation isn’t a lost cause, after all. 
  6. So Fresh, So Clean by Outkast: This is how it feels after you convince your parents to let you use their hotel room’s bathroom and you finally remember what it feels like to shower without shoes on. This song is exactly four minutes long, so it should only take about seven plays to last the duration of your shower.
  7. Should I Stay or Should I Go by The Clash: Embodies the dilemma you’ll face when you receive that “Come to Mel’s” text just as your parents are asking if you want to go to one last dinner with them before their flight leaves tomorrow morning. You should choose your parents, if for no other reason than you never appreciate the free dinners you have until they’re gone.
  8. Miss Independent by Ne-Yo: For anyone whose family isn’t from a city like New York, they will no doubt be impressed at your ability to navigate the entire ten-block radius around campus. The illusion that you are, in fact, fully independent might bring your mom to tears, but the weekend will also be a sobering reminder that you may never stop relying on your parents for some things, like the Chobani Flips you’ve been depriving yourself of for weeks because you can’t justify buying them yourself.

Photo via Barnard First-Year Blog.

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