Field Notes: Another Weekend of FAPing Edition
Written by Thomas Saenz
We here at Bwog are quite proud of our FAPing skills over the weekend. While many people spent this past weekend doing normal, boring things, Bwog Staff took things up a notch and FAPed away, because what’s better than Food, Alcohol, and Partying?
Bwog and Food:
- Shared a lot of dishes/utensils with people, then found out I have strep.
- Had the best sushi of my life at the restaurant of the apprentice of Jiro from “Jiro Dreams of Sushi.”
- Ate an obscene amount of dim sum.
- Have Postmated my meals for the past three days because I lost all my important possessions – namely my school id, fake id, debit card, and insurance card, and keys.
- Went to a fancy restaurant for my 20th birthday with my grandparents. They announced I was turning 20 to the waitress, who then brought me a glass of wine.
- Burnt my tongue on Wawa’s free sample coffee.
- Was forced into dinner with my friend and her former TA. Felt attacked when he, a 26-year-old man, used the phrase “good vibes” unironically.
Had ice cream no less than 3 times even though it was fucking freezing outside.
- Made cinnamon rolls! From scratch!
Bwog and Alcohol/Weed:
- Held my own birthday party which I left halfway through, having sequestered all the booze, because my ex was being shitty about the aux.
- Became friends with the bouncer at 1020. Accidentally took his drink thinking that someone left a fresh drink by the door.
- Went to a jazz club Midtown and had a cocktail with “earl grey infused vodka and homemade blackberry syrup” which was delicious.
- Got hard-core carded and told that I “look very young” by Lucy, the 70 year old female proprietor of Lucy’s, a bar in the East Village.
- Drank the fanciest wine I have in recent memory, from the fridge of the family I babysit for.
- Was so stoned that I imagined being chased by a man in the street.
Went to a Rich Chigga concert so fucking faded I don’t even remember going there, the concert, or getting back.
Bwog and Partying:
- Got literal bite marks on my inner lip that look like cold sores from a guy who doesn’t know how to kiss.
- Refused to kiss a guy at a party and talked to him about politics, rape culture, and climate change instead.
- Took care of my blacked-out friend who usually takes care of my drunk ass.
- Accidentally jumped into a lake in 20 degree (F) weather. Could have died of drowning and/or hypothermia, but I LIVED. (And spent another ~6 hours outside in freezing temperatures the next day.) (Bwog Note: this isn’t partying but we think it best fit in this category)
- Kicked my friends out of my pregame because I got upset at them.
- Co-hosted a 70 person party with my NYU boyfriend. I was the drunkest person there but luckily only managed to embarrass myself once everyone had left.
Bonus: Bwog in the City!
- Saw P. Diddy doing squats at the Columbus Circle Equinox.
- Ran into one of my good friends on the uptown 1 train at 2:30 am. He was so drunk he puked all over the platform at 42nd St station.
- Went to Bryant Park Winter Village and had the best cider and donuts of my life.
- Met Frank from My Chemical Romance at a concert in Brooklyn.
Saw my favorite band, screamed the entire show.
Drunk off wine via Public Domain
Tags: cold sores and kissing, fancy wine, fap away, field notes, getting so high you can't remember a concert is a low, invite me to the party next time, no skinny dipping at cornell, someone take me to the Bryant park winter village, why the fuck can't I see p Diddy in public